No, Christian, I’m Not Your Spiritual Bitch

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I wonder if you can truly handle what’s on my mind. You’re not going to like it, I suspect, which is probably why I never give it full flight—at least, until now. Honestly, I just can’t shackle the voice in my soul any longer. Neither can I expect you to reconsider your ways if I’m not forthright with their true effect upon my life—however brutal these words might be perceived.

You believe it’s your job to change me, to partner with God to lead me to repent of my sins, surrender my life, and follow the Jesus of your understanding. In your mind, if your divine tag team efforts with the Father don’t work, my eternal destiny could be one of hellfire and forever torment. With such a daunting possibility at the forefront of your beliefs, I appreciate your concern and respect your efforts.

Yet, underneath and far beyond that, it seems you’re pridefully convinced that it’s your special responsibility to point me to the towering endless ladder of your customized, “to do” and “not to do” steps. If my careful ascension isn’t forthcoming and certain, in your mind, I’ll never be successful at activating the neon “Genuine Christian” sign you have conveniently dangling from the top—all to my sure demise and doom. Measuring up and fitting in are of the highest importance. No area of my life seems off limits to your inspection, assessment, and admonition. In the end, it feels like I have become, for you, some kind of Chia Pet-for-Jesus, where you’re hell-bent on making it your personal project to grow me into a “fully devoted follower of Christ” that, in reality, actually looks mostly like you. Oh, the horror that will ensue if I fail to come into compliance and therefore reap the consequence of your rejection.    

Still, I’m going to assume that your intentions are met with a goodness in your heart. Yet, all the same, I’m not so ignorant to be devoid of the awareness that some of the greatest of evils have started from the good intentions of people who feel spiritually justified in their actions—especially Christians. In fact, if I’m honest, more so than not, your efforts to save and sanctify me, no matter how well intended, leave me feeling thoroughly defaced as a human being, raped of dignity, condemned unfairly, and judged highly hypocritically. How could that ever be the work of Jesus?

That’s why today is the day of my emancipation.

I mean no disrespect nor lack of love in saying so, but I’m finally breaking free from your apparent determination to convince me that my future and my worth are somehow tied to your spiritual opinion, discernment, evaluation, counsel, influence, and religion. I’m pushing past the seemingly required belief that God is specifically using you to save me from Himself and all that He will do to me if I don’t love Him back in return; of course, with compliance to all your specifics. I’m breaking the chains of, what feels like, your continually condescending glare into my soul that clearly sees me as an inferior person who needs your intervention, lest I perish and waste my life.  

Why such resistance and seeming rebellion?

Because the mind of Christ within me has overridden your mind that’s trying to conform me. With heaping helpings of Grace overflowing, He has convinced me of perhaps the most important and liberating revelation of all, “I’m not your spiritual bitch.”

I’m not a misprint in need of your correction. I’m not a floundering vessel requiring your rescue. I’m not a lost cause simply absent of your assistance. I’m not a notch on your belt to appease your quest to earn favor with your deity.

I’m not a blemish the requires your erasing. I’m not a vote deserving of your hacking. I’m not a shame that needs your permission to be unashamed. I’m not a sinner in need of your salvation. I’m not a question mark that needs your answer. I’m not a disease that needs your cure. I’m not a stronghold that requires the strength of your religious prescriptions. And most of all, I’m not an inferior human being whose hope lies within your privilege.

No, I’m a beloved child of God—not by your doing, approval, or securing, but by His.

In fact, here’s what I’ve discovered in my awakening to Love and Grace, yours is not a position from which you should have any position in my life, anyways—only Jesus.  

Besides, the God I know, who lives and dwells within me, the One with whom I have full communion unconditionally, would never use hurtful, selfish, inhumane tactics postured from religious pride in order to bring about goodness in me and from me.

So, you can stop pretending I’m your patient and yours is a medicine I need taking. You can stop putting Laws where there are none, and conditions where there never have been. You can stop pimping God as punishing, the Bible as perfect, and your interpretations as exclusively authoritative. You can stop touting your spiritual gymnastics, spiritual navel gazing, and highfalutin exegesis. God’s not impressed and I’m no longer listening.  

Why?

Because…

I’m not your spiritual bitch.

And neither is He.

Grace is brave. Be brave.

 

Check out Chris Kratzer’s new book getting rave reviews, Leatherbound Terrorism…

There is no greater evil being wielded upon the planet than Conservative Evangelicalism, and Chris Kratzer’s life and ministry journey are undeniable proof. In Leatherbound Terrorism, Chris tells of his 21 years as a conservative Evangelical pastor and the radical change of heart and mind that led him to walk away from it all. With a new sense of faith centered on Jesus and His pure Gospel of Grace, in Leatherbound Terrorism, Chris chases the evils of conservative Evangelicalism out of the shadows and gives powerful voice to the cries of the religiously oppressed. Confronting issues like racism, sexism, homophobia, religious greed, hypocrisy, nationalism, white supremacy, privilege, and the weaponizing of the Bible, Leatherbound Terrorism pulls no punches. Endorsed by best selling authors Steve McVey and Baxter Kruger, Leatherbound Terrorism will challenge you, inspire you, and most certainly cause you to rethink your faith and life.

19 Comments

  1. Thanks again, Chris.
    Paul in Kansas

  2. Rosemary Hagedorn

    November 7, 2018 at 10:09 pm

    True words that definitely need to be shouted from the rooftops! Thank you for your honesty.

  3. marla jeanette dorner

    November 7, 2018 at 10:12 pm

    thank you for this post! it was “spot on”. todays (especially evangelicals) “christians” believe that they are “god’s” voice on earth. they feel that if someone doesn’t accept their dogmas are damned. it’s THEIR way or it’s the “highway to hell”!

  4. Thank you for your bravery and bold words. We are on similar missions, you and I, but mine began in my conservative church pew with a gay son. And I am sorry for my part in presenting that message that you are “other” and “less than.” I’m amazingly thankful God woke me up to my self-righteousness.

  5. Stefani Madison

    November 8, 2018 at 1:54 am

    Pastor;

    I’m a bit nonplussed; I’ve been running a very similar monologue through my mind today but haven’t yet attempted to write. Whether or not I actually do, however, is dependent upon my conviction that what I write will ever reach beyond my Facebook page. Sometimes, expressing my spiritual convictions is much like tossing a stone in the ocean, making me ask ‘Who cares?’; the forum is the determing factor on which depends my determination to write.

    At all events, know that this article you’ve so wonderfully crafted delights my rebellious soul (so-named by the very same mob you wrote of) and makes me wish desperately I could force-feed it to those teeming self-righteous, arrogant ‘christians’ that, throughout history, have destroyed by magnitudes of order everything they claim to save. Thank you.

    Shalom,
    Stefani Madison.

  6. I am a love child of God! Oh, yeah, He beautifully and wonderfully made me a gay man. I love Him, He loves me and I thank him that He has made me who I am.
    I have been on my unbridled journey of spiritual identity for the past five years. I was raised in conservative evangelical churches… Baptist, Methodist, Charismatic, Etc., all the while trying to find out why I had the curse of same sex attraction. Beat down by the self righteous that call themselves christian, being place on earth to deliver me. Deliver me from what?
    After just reading “Leatherbound Terrorism”, I have such a relief to know that I have not been wrong in my beliefs that they were nuts! I am free in Christ to be who I am, because He has been and always will be in me. I am God’s child, in His image.
    Thank you for your blogs! Thank you for your book!!!

  7. Chris, as a former evangelical myself, I often remind myself that evangelicals are just fear-driven. Their own anti-Christian culture, the one Christ came to replace via God’s Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven, is developmentally stuck in the ancient superstitions around “the gods must be angry or this wouldn’t be happening.” Theirs is a cultural and intellectual immaturity and impulsivity we cannot do much to change. We all wish they would finally grow the hell up, leave their ancient superstitions behind, and follow the actual living Christ for a change. But that won’t happen because they’re not seeking it. Which compounds their error in wrongly assuming that you, me, and others are “seeking for answers” — hence, their behind our backs prayer circles “lifting us up” that God will “bind Satan” and win our souls to their childish cause. You are absolutely right, Chris, to warn the rest of humanity about this anti-Christian movement back into pro-Christ superstitions.

  8. Love it Chris! You might not realize how putting my understanding of grace and peace in such an elegant, pin pointed version does to ones hope. So I had to share, I could not have put it in better words. I had to share this and to our group. I know they will be uplifted!

  9. Chris, this is by far my favorite of what I’ve read of you so far. Those who pretend to know the heart of God by providing religious acts and non-acts are by far missing the point of God in bringing Jesus to earth. After all, those who judge also judge themselves in that they can never live up to the judgments made. I have no sin as God sees me through the eyes of His Son Jesus my Lord, I am as prefect as Jesus himself is. Anyone who has truly put on the mind of God also has no sin for the same reasons. Those who do judge will also be judged by their same judgments.

  10. Thank you for these words, Chris. I have recently come to the same conclusion and it is freeing! There are those around me who are praying for me to be released from this “liberal, feminist demon” that has invaded my heart. They are praying for me to see the “light”. I have seen the light which is why I am free from their rules, regulations, and so called theology that condemns me because I don’t see eye to eye with them politically. You have written down what I have been thinking all along and said it so much better than I ever could. I will be quoting this for some time. (Giving you full credit, of course.)

    • ckratzer

      November 9, 2018 at 11:38 am

      Catherine, it’s a honor to be walking out this journey of faith with fine people like you. You are not alone, we are all in this together! Thanks for the encouraging words!

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