Tag: ministry (Page 3 of 4)

Taking the Bite out of Betrayal

June 28, 2012 / / 0 Comments

Betrayal bites. Of all the plots Satan can work into a relationship, betrayal is the worst. At the heart of betrayal is broken trust. Whether it be in the form of an affair, lies, gossip, backstabbing, or walking away from a relationship, betrayal in essence involves the breaking of trust.  You trusted the person to be, do, or carry out something and they did not. Most of the time, betrayal has a deliberate essence to it. Sometimes it is even premeditated.

Unfortunately, trust is not as highly valued as it should be. People make all kinds of promises that they can’t or refuse to keep. They do what they want to do, when they want to do it, and how they want to do it with very little if any concern for its relational effect. Then, they expect this flippant attitude and behavior to be rewarded with trust.  We are truly a disposable, consumer minded society that has placed a high value on convenience to the point where even relationships, commitment, and trust are scene as expendable. Like a membership at a YMCA, we seem to value relationships as far as they serve our needs and a better opportunity doesn’t present itself. Once a relationship stops serving our needs, all bets are off. Not a pleasant reality, but sadly a true one.

Yet, trust takes much time and relational travel to establish, but people expect it to happen over night. Trust should be treasured and built patiently over time.  It’s not instant, nor is it disposable.  Furthermore, it is the product of a relationship going through ups and down together and passing the tests of trust.

With a growing disregard for authority, friendships, integrity, and trust, betrayal has become common place and basically expected. What God hates, Satan has made predictable… betrayal.

So, what is a person to do with this issue of betrayal? Unfortunately it can’t be completely prevented, but here is some wisdom that can guide you in taking the bite out of betrayal.

o.o1 Acknowledge the Hurt – Trying to play the tough guy (or girl) through betrayal is not healthy. Betrayal is gut-wrenching. Make sure you don’t try to bury the anger you have.  Take time to express your hurt to God and perhaps a close friend with whom you can trust. The more you stow it, the more is festers and grows.

o.o2 Retrace the Steps – Typically, betrayal doesn’t happen overnight. Furthermore, what may feel like betrayal could have a very legitimate explanation. To be sure, it will be difficult at best to put together the puzzle of events that led to the betrayal, but doing your best to understand what led to it will help you process it and move forward with appropriate emotions and actions.

o.o3 Learn to Exit Well – Betrayal sometimes occurs when people don’t know how to leave or deal with a situation or relationship. Instead of handling it with clear, direct communication, they hide in the shadows only to make their choices known through others or with no explanation at all. In some circumstances, people will find excuses to exit stage left and use blame to legitimize the guilt they feel in leaving your side. In other circumstances, they will make decisions that force your hand in confronting them and setting boundaries so that they don’t have to take responsibility for the decline or dissolving of the relationship. In essence, they make you say “no” so they don’t have to. This is of course very hurtful, but also serves as a good lesson on how not to do the same to another.

I imagine that Judas discovered early on that there became a point where he no longer supported the cause and/or claims of Christ. But rather then handle that with direct and clear communication, he betrayed Jesus. Add into the mix some greed, bitterness, and temptation and you can begin to retrace the steps of Judas’ exit stage left from the side of Jesus.

o.o4 Reenter with Caution – Betrayal doesn’t always mean the end.  For example, I have seen many couples overcome the worst of affairs and rebuild their marriage stronger than ever.  However, anytime there has been a betrayal, giving back trust and moving towards reconciliation should be done with care and caution. Forgiveness only takes one person, trust and restoration always takes two. Developing discernment and having a healthy relational radar system can go a long way at preventing betrayal.

o.o5 Let God get Justice- When we are betrayed it’s easy to desire revenge. Even when we are at no fault and justified in our anger, revenge is not a good thing.  When it comes to betrayal, trying to even the score will always end up in losing the game.  Does this mean you should not confront the person or seek measures of appropriate discipline or boundaries? No. But it does mean that any actions taken should not be authored from a spirit of revenge.  Aside from any appropriate confrontation or discipline, let God take care of the issues of justice and revenge. He can handle it, we can’t.

0.o6 Don’t Give Up on Trust- There are a lot of good, trustable people out there with whom you can have a betrayal free relationship. Take time to develop trust. Trust can’t be rushed. People who won’t take the time and do the work to build trust probably won’t value it nor protect it once you give it.  There is a difference between being careful and being distrusting. Be careful, but don’t assume that people aren’t trustable.

When People Disappoint You

June 19, 2012 / / 0 Comments

I know for sure there are many people who I have disappointed. And, there are of course people who have disappointed me. When people fail to meet our expectations it can be disheartening to say the least.  Especially when our expectations have been warranted and worthy.

Because we live in a world where there are no perfect people, people will inevitably disappoint us.  They will say and do the wrong things or not say and do the right things. How we handle these disappointments can define many aspects of our lives.

Here are some things that serve me well in handling those tough moments when people disappoint…

1) Remember, you have been the person of whom another person has secretly said, “Wow, that was disappointing.” Chances are, you didn’t mean to disappoint and may not even be aware that you have. We are imperfect people who live in an imperfect world.  Not everyone who disappoints you means to do so or is even aware of it. So, be careful not to overreact or assume the worst. Depending on the circumstance, it may be very helpful to communicate your disappointment directly to the person.  It’s hard to expect people to meet expectations you haven’t communicated.

2) Don’t look to people to fulfill the deep needs in your life.  Jesus is to be our all and all, not people.  People can’t make you happy, fulfilled, secure, or valuable. These, and many other deep emotional needs can only truly be filled by God. When we look to people to meet needs in us that only God can, we will always be disappointed. Furthermore, we will wear people and relationships out as we try to get them to fill in us what only can be filled by God. People cannot complete us, facebook cannot complete us, and neither can your spouse. Only God can complete you. If you turn to people, relationships, or facebook for your security, worth, identity, affirmation, and value, you will be frequently disappointed and the people around you will be exhausted from the drama.

3) You will probably only have a handful of people in your life that are truly “with” you. There a basically three types of people in your relationship life…   Opportunist, Causist, and Loyalist

Opportunist– These are people who are not “with” you, but rather they are “with” the opportunity you bring to them or represent.  Maybe you have given them an opportunity to be a part of your vision, a staff position, or any number of things. They are with you mainly because of the opportunity you represent or offer. Once the opportunity is gone and you no longer serve as some kind of benefit to them, they will likely not remain “with” you for long. In fact, they were never with you, they were with the opportunity that came with you.  Once you no longer serve as a benefit to them or carry on the opportunity that came with you, they will likely no longer have an interest and move on to other things. Sometimes, they will join up with another person(s) or group who represent a better opportunity. Either way, they are with the opportunity, not you.

This can be very disappointing because we often hope opportunist are really loyalist or at least become them later on. Unfortunately, they often aren’t and never do become them.  That’s why they are opportunist.

All opportunist aren’t necessarily bad people. Not all opportunist are using you. Many of them care about you, but at the same time care more about the opportunity you represent and bring. The disappointment comes when we expect opportunists to behave like loyalist.  The more we see opportunist as opportunist and not loyalist, the less will be surprised and disappointed.

Causist- These are people who are not “with” you but rather they are “with” the cause you share together.  Typically they are against what you are against. Sometimes, they are for what you are for.  Either way, they are “with” the cause, but not “with” you.

The moment you no longer stand for what they stand for or stand against what they stand against, or the cause becomes completed, they will likely no longer have an interest in you and move onto to other things.

The truth is, many people and relationships fit into either the causist or opportunist category. That’s neither bad or good necessarily, it’s just reality. Furthermore, most people will leave our side, distance themselves, or move onto other things in one way or another. Typically, it’s because they were either relationships primarily of opportunity or cause at the heart. When we understand this, it helps us to see and celebrate our relationships for what they are instead of be thoroughly disappointed for what they aren’t.  Yes, we would all probably love the causist and opportunist to be or become loyalist and they could certainly benefit in learning to do so, but that typically is not the case.  This understanding can go a long way to handling the disappointments people cause us.

Loyalist-  These are the people who are “with” you. No matter what you stand for or stand against, whether you are right or wrong, whether you present an opportunity or not. They are with you, above and beyond any vision, cause, opportunity, or alike.

I can count on both hands the people who are loyalists in my life.  Jesus himself during his earthly ministry only had essentially a few loyalists. If you have any loyalists in your life, thank God for them, they are tremendous gift.

Loyalists stand by your side no matter where you are. They believe in you, what God is doing in you, and they want to be a part of your life no matter what. They stay by you when you fail or succeed, rise or fall, hurt or help.

No, these people are not enablers or “yes” people. You can disagree with someone and even disapprove of their behavior and yet still be “with” them. Jesus was often criticized for being “with” sinners… emotionally and physically.  Some of the loyalists in my life have often confronted me, disciplined me, and spoke the truth in love.  In those confrontational moments, I could have walked away, but they didn’t and wouldn’t.

Loyalist are life-timers. Whatever life brings, they are “with” you.

Understand the opportunist is like scaffolding in a building project, they are next to you for a while because of the opportunity you bring or represent that benefits them, but when the opportunity you bring or represent is gone or a better one comes along, they will likely leave your side for something or someone else.

Understand the causist is like a fellow soldier in a mission, they are with you for a shared cause. You either have a shared enemy to battle or goal you desire to accomplish. Once the battle changes, ends, or you change, they will likely either find another cause or continue their cause with someone or something else.

Understand the loyalist is with you no matter what.

To help with disappointment, don’t confuse the Opportunist nor the Causist with a Loyalist. Acknowledge what each of these relationships are so you don’t experience the disappointment that comes with making them into something they aren’t.

Building Trust

May 19, 2012 / / 2 Comments

One of the most important factors in any relationship is trust. The closer the relationship the higher the level of trust required. Trust is a kind of glue in a relationship that strengthens it and holds it together. In the Bible we see both the value of giving trust and withholding trust in our personal relationships. Additionally, we see there are levels of trust, each based on certain dynamics of the relationship. In simple terms, when it comes to trust, one size nor amount fits all.  To one group, we observe in scripture “But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men.” Yet in another place, we read the words of Jesus “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”   Trust is a sacred treasure that, like all things God gives us to share, should be stewarded carefully.  “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.”

Typically, most of us fall into one of two categories… we either withhold appropriate levels of trust even when it’s safe, or we give too much trust prematurely.  To be sure, the giving of trust into a relationship is an art and balance that is forever learned.  Regardless of which side you tend to err on, here are some principals that have served me well as I seek to be better at building trust in my relationships.

1) Give trust in steps–  For those who are hyper-sensitive to giving trust, if you learn you don’t have to give all your trust at once, it will help you to feel safe in giving a little bit at a time. Instead of never trusting, warming up to the waters of trust one step at a time can be very helpful and healthy.  God operates under this same principal as His word says, “Those who are faithful with a little will be faithful much.”  God first starts with a “little” before He ever gets to “much.” In fact, people who expect you to quickly trust them and become offended when you don’t, are typically people who aren’t very trustworthy anyways. There are some who may want you to prematurely give them all your trust at once (or lots of it) because they know, if you don’t,  you might figure it out that you probably shouldn’t give them any of it.  People who pressure you for trust (especially early on) are typically people who won’t respect it when it is given. When it comes to giving trust, sometimes less is more.  Small steps overtime are much better than no steps at all. Yet, small steps overtime are also better then one immediate big step. For those who are too free with your trust, taking steps will help you to have the self-control that doesn’t pile on more trust into the relationship than it can handle.  This is contra-productive. The relationship could have handled a smaller amount of trust and grown to build more, but instead too much was given prematurely, the trust was not honored, you are disappointed, and the relationship is worse off than if trust had been allowed to grow over time. Giving too much trust too soon might feel like it builds relationships and makes you a loving person, but in fact, it can make the relationship into a house of cards that easily falls down in ruin.

2) Go out of your way to show yourself to be trustworthy-  I am often amazed at how we expect people to trust us while at the same time we aren’t willing to earn it , intentionally show we are trustworthy, and give trust time to grow. Rather, sometimes we display behaviors and attitudes that erode trust and expect trust to be given in return.  The Bible contradicts this thinking saying, “A man reaps what he sows.” It’s unfair and unrealistic to expect or demand trust from another while either untrustworthiness is being displayed or you are not extending yourself and showing yourself to be trustworthy.  Don’t expect trust to be the outcome given from poor communication, withheld  feelings, flattery, manipulation, violated boundaries, hidden agendas, selfishness, lies, gossip, or division.  These are a few among the definite trust busters of relationships.  Instead, if you want to build trust, take the initiative to do your part in preventing the person or group from having any real reason to withhold the giving of trust over time.  If it’s with your boss, show up on time to work, go the extra mile, don’t participate in the office gossip. If it’s with your spouse, be open and honest, be emotionally available, communicate consistently and frequently,  explain your decisions, resolve conflict promptly and completely, and communicate your activities.  If it’s with a friend, show your devotion, communicate your heart, don’t let assumption go without clarification or confirmation.  In all relationships, ask the trust building kind of questions, “How are we doing?” “Are we okay” “Anything we need to talk about?” “Are we on the same page?” “How are you feeling about things?” “Help me understand, why did you do ________?

3) Put your ultimate trust in Jesus- All our relationships with people  are to be an extension from our relationship with Jesus. The trust we have with Jesus first and foremost is to be carefully extended into our relationships not replaced by our relationships. I find it staggeringly profound that Jesus entrusted himself to no one, that special level of trust was reserved for His heavenly Father.  When people fail us, Jesus does not, will not, and cannot. With this anchor to our soul and well-being firmly secure, we are able to extend portions of that trust we have found in Christ into our relationships so that the work of God can be done in and through them.


Do Celebrity Pastors Smell?

May 18, 2012 / / 0 Comments

Within recent years, the term “Celebrity Pastor” has become commonly used. Typically it refers to a pastor who has a large church or ministry, speaking schedule, and has probably authored a book or two.  Because so, other pastors, followers, and folks in ministry desire to honor them, learn from them, follow them, and encourage them.  We all want to be successful, and benefiting from the success of others in various ways is usually a noble pursuit.

Also, within recent years, there is a growing culture of people who have become highly critical of celebrity pastors in general.  Some have even used their platforms (usually blogs, radio, and websites) to focus their ministry on the criticism of other ministries, and usually it has do with a celebrity pastor. Sadly, one of the things I have noticed is much of the criticism is based on heresay, speculation, personal opinion, and denominational differences.  Rarely does it originate from real, credible, and firsthand personal experience.

During a season several years ago, I joined in the frenzy of critical Christians who seemed to have a spiritual gift in bashing celebrity pastors and their ministries, particularly those of the contemporary flavor.  All you need to do is go blog hunting and you too can easily get caught up in it. Gratefully, I have grown up and moved on from that herd.

So the question becomes, is their something intrinsically wrong or flawed with becoming a celebrity pastor? Are all celebrity pastors alike?  Are they all arrogant, unapproachable, self serving, bible twisting, snobby people as some portray them?  In my humble opinion? Absolutely not!  In fact, every “Celebrity Pastor” that I have developed a personal relationship and have first hand experience with, have what I see as a deep passion for Jesus and seeing His Kingdom built. I think it’s very unfortunate when pastors of any flavor get criticized or have judgments made about them from those who have never truly walked in their shoes nor closely walked with them in their ministry.  Many have a very limited perspective on what it truly entails being a Lead Pastor. Until you are completely in that role, you can never fully understand nor appreciate.

Are there people who idolize celebrity pastors? Yes, unfortunately. Does that mean the celebrity pastor desires that? No.  In my humble opinion, as we first and foremost follow Jesus, we do well to come under a spiritual leader giving them honor, loyalty, and our best followship. While Paul was following Jesus and leading others to do the same, He also said, “imitate me.”

Don’t assume that every celebrity pastor’s heart has gone hollywood.  In fact, it’s typically furthest from the truth. Rather, pray for these leaders and give them the benefit of the doubt. Chances are, if you were in their shoes,  you would want the same and be frustrated when you didn’t get it.

Do celebrity pastors smell? Yes. Does their poop stink? Of course (though in this I have no firsthand experience).

So let’s look for the best in what God is doing in and through them as they pursue their calling. Let’s stop focusing on what we don’t like or agree about how another pastor or leader is fulfilling their calling, and focus on doing our best to follow ours. God is not going to hold us accountable for what they do, but He will want to see a return on what He has given us.

Let’s move away from the Great Criticism and get back to the Great Commission.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leadership Stages

May 16, 2012 / / 0 Comments

Critical Stages of Leading People

Jesus was and is the Master of leading people. One of the most powerful things I have observed in His example is the stages He goes through, overtime, with the people He is leading and developing. The way Jesus handles leadership at the beginning of His interaction with a person or group is different from His style and methods later on.  There is something sacred and necessary within the stages Jesus goes through that make His leadership successful. In fact, when followed, these stages do well at preventing us from microwaving leaders or bottlenecking them; both are which are not healthy.

Stage One: Directive

Mark 1:15-20  “The time has come,” he said. “The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news! 16 As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 17 “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” 18 At once they left their nets and followed him. 19 When he had gone a little farther, he saw James son of Zebedee and his brother John in a boat, preparing their nets. 20 Without delay he called them, and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men and followed him.

This passages marks the beginning of Jesus’ leadership of the disciples. Notice, Jesus is directive, not democratic. He doesn’t begin with consensus-style leadership nor does He call for a vote on His teaching of the Kingdom or try to get these fisherman to agree with His strategy and tactics.

Jesus simple says, “Come, follow me and I will make you fishers of men”

Leaders must have and understand their God-given authority and the need to be directive at certain stages of leadership. Jesus didn’t poll the disciples and ask, “O.k. guys, what kind of people do you want to become and what do you think we ought to do together?” Rather, Jesus came with vision and a sure sense of direction. He didn’t ask the disciples to give Him vision, He asked them to give Him their followship.

In the beginning of leading people, the directive stage of leadership is critical both for the leader and the follower.  It prevents the leader from the early stage temptations of morphing into a managing people pleaser, political player, or an insecure, indecisive gatherer. Yet, it also helps the follower to not overestimate their readiness for the journey, become arrogant, assume false expectations, or develop their own personal preferences and agenda.

Jesus knew, at this stage, giving clear, decisive direction was in the best interest of all involved. He wasn’t interested in managing their lives, He was interested in leading them.

As the common saying goes, “Managers do things right, while leaders do the right thing.”

When we start on a new trail in pursuit of a God-vision, we need a strong confident leader to show us the way.  There will be a time for consensus building, for gathering and listening to opinions from those that follow, but that time is not best placed at the beginning stages.

Stage One dynamics…

The Follower has : High enthusiasm, high confidence, low experience, low competence

The Leader gives: High direction, high example, low consensus, low explanation

 

Stage Two: Visionary Coach

Luke 12:32-34“Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. 33 Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. 34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Jesus, in this stage, adapts His style into more of a coaching style. He increases His time with the disciples in order to help them work through their developing insecurities and fears.

Leaders do well to help their followers go through the doubts and insecurities that occur as one pursues anything of God. Growing in relationship with Him and leadership capacity within His Kingdom is not always pleasant nor easy.  People are often excited at first about moving forward with you and God, but soon they realize there are challenges, internally and externally. It is during this time that a leader must help their followers along, knowing that some may choose to abandon ship and go back to the bliss of stage one with someone or something else.

Continually coming back to the vision and articulating it is critical at this stage.  Vision helps us see where we are going when we can’t see it for ourselves and those we lead. Vision is what reminds us of our calling and keeps our eyes on the prize. Vision is what rekindles the flames of our hearts and brings us back to centering on Jesus and His purposes and plans.

Helping followers understand that what God has called us to become and do is impossible apart from Him is a key accomplishment in this stage.  Vision is what enables our souls to expand with increasing room for faith.  Without leading people to develop their faith and character, the potential of what God has and can do with them will never be reached.  A coaching style enables a continuation of the directive style of stage one while adding a dimension of developing responsibility and personal growth for the follower, and developed trust levels between the follower and the leader.

Stage Two dynamics…

The Follower has: Low enthusiasm, low confidence, low experience, low competence

The Leader gives: High direction, high discussion, high example, high accessibility

 

Stage Three: Coaching / Pastoral / Team

John 15:12-17  My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit —fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.

This is the stage where Jesus starts to shift to a “You do it, and I will help and watch” style and strategy of leadership.  Over time, the followers have demonstrated increasing levels of loyalty, shared vision, competency and spiritual growth and are now ready to be given new levels of responsibility and intimacy.  Their relationship with Jesus has been strengthened, and now it’s time for more of a team approach as Jesus opens the door to input, ideas, and consensus building.

It is during this stage that Jesus begins to introduce the idea that one day, Jesus will be much more distant from them. This is a kind of pre-commissioning stage.

The major challenges of this stage is to ensure that the vision has been passed off to your followers through tests as you give them increasing levels of responsibility, decision making, and influence with you.  At this level, the leader needs to learn the art of watching without being noticed so as to create an environment where risk is minimized while testing the follower for readiness for increasing levels of leadership.

It is tempting for leaders to rush this stage, so it’s important to remember it essentially took Jesus three years to get to stage four.  As in a relay race, the passing of the baton is highly practiced, carefully timed, clearly communicated, and very critical.  A bad transition can undo months of hard work.

Leaders do well to help the follower understand the expectations and pacing of this transition period so as to be in continual communication and connection with the process.

Stage Three dynamics…

The Follower has: Increasing enthusiasm, growing experience, intermittent confidence, growing competence

The Leader gives: Lower direction, higher consensus, high discussion, high accessibility

 

Stage Four:  Vision Reproduction / Delegated Authority

Matthew 28:18-20  Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Jesus is preparing the disciples to spend less time with Him. He is reducing their hours of contact with Him because He is now delegating authority.  They are now becoming extension and representatives of Him.  Jesus has moved them from “Come follow me” to “Go be Me, stay true to the vision, and do what I taught you to do!”

When the leader sees the individual or team is highly competent, spiritual developed, loyal, trustable, and deeply shares the vision, it is time for delegating authority and responsibility at higher levels.  It’s not about perfection, but it is about progress.  To be highly directive and restrictive when the follower is ready for delegation is to squelch the potential and work of God in and through the follower.

Delegating before stage four at high levels is a recipe for disaster.  The follower may think they are ready for it, but until they have completely gone through stages 1-3, they are not.

At this stage, the closeness with the leader and follower remains, but it is not defined by the amount of time together, but rather the openness, loyalty, and shared vision they have with one another.

Stages of delegation:

1-    I do, you watch

2-    I do, you help

3-    You do, I help

4-    You do, I watch


Stage Four dynamics… 

The Follower has: High enthusiasm, high confidence, high experience, high competence

The Leader gives: Clear but lower direction, high consensus, clear but lower example, high explanation

My Top 3 Leadership Mistakes

May 15, 2012 / / 0 Comments

My Top 3 Leadership Mistakes

If you are a leader, you surely have made mistakes.  And chances are, you have made the same mistakes more than once. Why?  Because we all have leadership blindspots, areas where we tend to make repeated miscues because we don’t see things within ourselves or those people or systems we lead clearly.

Over my ministry, I have made three general mistakes several times. The good news is that for so long I didn’t even see it, but only the pain these mistakes caused, but now I do.  A great prayer leaders should pray is, “God help me to see the blindspots in my leadership”

Mistake #1  Raising Up Leaders too Quickly

I am a guy who likes to say “yes” and who likes to believe in the best, especially in people.  I want to be a builder of people and groups so much that at times, I rushed ahead. So, when a person comes with an idea, or a position is needed, instead of taking the time to discern and delegate gradually overtime, I would quickly commission, send them up the mountain, and wish for the best.  I didn’t delegate, I abdicated. On so many occasions, my instincts would tell me, “this person isn’t the right fit” or “this person isn’t quite ready” or “we need to take this one step at a time.” However, I would ignore my instincts in an effort to move ahead. Big mistake. As the saying goes, “It’s a lot easier getting married than getting divorced”  Most of the greatest challenges I have faced in ministry have been because I raised someone up too quickly, and knew I was doing it in my spirit.

Can you believe it? I knew in my gutt I was doing the wrong thing, but I pushed ahead anyways.  As Alex McManus once told me in a coaching session, “The moment you stop following your gutt is the moment you stop leading” Ouch.

No one is perfect, nor perfectly ready for any task or appointment, that’s a given. But, in the name of blazing ahead of God and wanting to say “yes” I rejected the model Jesus displayed of taking time upfront to discern, train, develop, and delegate over time. I ignored passages like, “Be careful in the laying on of hands” and “He who is faithful with little will be faithful in much”  And every time, I payed dearly on the back side when that person got in over their heads, couldn’t handle the power, moved too slowly or quickly, spun out of control, or flat out became a renegade. In moving ahead prematurely, I failed them, God, and the ministry as a whole. All in the name of saying “yes” and a trying to be an overnight builder of people and groups.

Mistake #2  Believing I Could Fit where I Didn’t Fit and Change what Really Didn’t Want to Be Changed

No where in ministry has my ego caused me more pain then in thinking I could do what is really impossible, and that is, to change people and circumstances that were set up and bent on resisting change.

On at least two occasions, I have signed on to ministry challenges that in my spirit I knew were set up to fail, but my ego told me, “You are a great leader, you can do the impossible, you can love them on board, pray them on board, and cast enough vision that everything is going to work out all dreamy!” Not. Wise, spirit-filled people even told me ahead of time, “don’t go there” but my ego said, “I can handle it.”  The common sense check/warning in my spirit God gave me ahead of time, I ignored again. How stupid is that? Very.

It doesn’t work well to try to take a square object and jam it into a round hole. Both the object and the whole end up loosing in the end. Yet, I have thought in ministry that I could find a way to fit in or change the shape where there was an obvious misfit.  Do I believe in change? Absolutely. Do I believe people and groups can be transformed, absolutely. But not apart from a comprehensive move of God and the comprehensive openness of the person or group. Furthermore, some organizational systems and strongholds within a group are change killers, and to think one is going to go in and turn it around a part from the spiritual surgery of God and the openness of the patient, is not wise. Even Jesus couldn’t accomplish this among so many groups and individuals. So, why did I think I would be any different? Pride.

The scriptures are true, “Pride comes before a fall” and to be sure my pride has led me down ministry paths I never should have never traveled. I love a challenge, I love to believe in the impossible, I love going where the chance of failure is greater than the chance of success, I love facing the odds and rising above.  But, what you can lead in your own life cannot always be led in the lives of others and groups of people. Discernment and listening to the Spirit of God to only face the challenges He assigns is key.  I will no longer try to lead that which God has warned me not to lead.

Mistake #3  Internalizing Conflict

Conflict is a part of all ministry. So a leader must learn to deal with it without internalizing it. For me, this has been much easier said than done.  I love people, and honestly, like to be loved. Who doesn’t?

For most accomplished leaders, they have those tough conversations, they make the tough decisions, they face the floggings and the oppositions. Does it hurt them? Yes. Does it break their heart? Yes.  Do they consider their own brokenness and shortcomings? Yes.  But do they internalize it and let it all eat them alive? No. Somewhere they have learned to “turn it off” and “let it go.” They have become skilled at resisting second guessing themselves to death and emotionally nose diving into a tail spin.

I don’t like the idea of getting thick skin. I like the idea of coming into the secret place of God. I’ll take His skin over any thickening of mine.

I am learning how to come into the presence and strength of God in such a way that enables me to be secure and safe while still being as direct, decisive, and assertive as good leadership requires.

May God bless you and your leadership!

What to Look for in a Potential Leader

December 14, 2011 / / 0 Comments

What do I need to look for in a potential leader?” 

 Most leaders have first hand experience of where they have raised people up into leadership only to later regret that decision. We don’t want to bottleneck leadership, but we don’t want to get ahead of God either. If you are like me, you spend a lot of time and head space on getting this issue right in your leadership.

Obviously, these are not exhaustive, but here are six critical indicators that will help you have an idea of what to look for in a potential leader.  (These assume a person’s prior salvation through repenting for their sin and putting their faith and trust in Jesus Christ, baptism, fellowship and membership within the Church)

Humble/Teachable/Gentle Spirit

“This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.” Isaiah 66:2

One of the main factors that God looks for in a potential leader is a humble spirit. One has to truly worship God before they can lead other people to God.

Every leader God ever raised up in scripture first had a humbling, repenting, worshipful experience with God that shaped their overall attitude into a humble spirit before God.

If you worship yourself (pride) all you will do is lead people to yourself and self-seeking pursuits. Worship is a humbling act of humility. When you worship God you acknowledge your limitations, sin, brokenness and your desperate need for God, His salvation on the cross, and His will to prevail in your life.

Humbleness agrees with God that there are more important things to life and in life than you. When you have a humble spirit, life becomes less about you, and more about what God desires to do in and through you. It becomes much less about what you are entitled or owed, and much more about your indebtedness to God and desire to serve Him and His people.

Some people manage to turn humility into a source of pride as they draw attention to themselves through their humility. The essence of humility is to take the focus off of you and place it on God and his desires. Humility is the branch from which the fruit of gentleness grows. People who have humility are gentle with others, not forceful, abrasive, or deceitful. You can be gentle and an assertive go-getter at the same time.

Over the years, I have seen people with great skills and competency have their pride and arrogance disqualify them as leaders and render their skills ineffective in spiritual leadership. Behind every move they make is an underlying agenda to draw attention to themselves. They put their own benefit over and above the benefit of the spiritual organization. And all too often, when a person of pride is confronted or their expectations are not realized, they become more aggressive or passive aggressive, or they completely shut down and disconnect. Pride is the author of the book some people live by title “Fight or Flight.”

One of the manifestations of humility comes when a person displays a teachable spirit. Humility says there is always something to learn. Humbleness requires surrendering to God and His design and plan for your life. Having a teachable spirit means that you are open to being developed in any way that moves you further into God’s design and plan for your life. People who have a teachable spirit are prone to consider the reality that other people can impart wisdom and instruction from which they could benefit. They are putty in the hands of God, waiting to be shaped and molded by God and the people whom God places over and with them.

The difference between confidence and pride is where a person places that confidence and what purpose it serves in their life. A person with a humble spirit will put confidence in God, His power, and purposes and use confidence as way to face the spiritual battles in their life and carry out the good work that God has begun in them. A person ruled by pride will put their confidence in themselves, their ideas, tenure, achievements, and pursuits and will use confidence as a way to intimidate, dominate, and a manipulate in order to compensate for deep rooted insecurity in their lives.

One way of testing for issues of pride is in seeing how a person responds and what they do after you have said “no.” to them.

Though people who have issues of pride may be very gifted, motivated, organized, and competent, their pride will turn their gifts towards the “dark-side” can ultimately go a long way in stealing from the kind of healthy leadership culture and effectiveness you are trying to develop.

Look for people with a humble, teachable, and gentle spirit.

Shared Vision

“May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus.” Romans 15:5

One of the most destructive forces in Church leadership is division and disunity.

Yet, at the same time, having expectations for unity where God allows for freedom can be equally counterproductive. Every spiritual organization needs to search the scriptures faithfully and allow God’s counsel and revelation to determine what are going to be the essentials and non essentials of the values, beliefs and vision of the group. Once that is clearly established, every leader must be enthusiastically aligned to the essentials and allowed freedom in the nonessentials.

With nonessentials, shared vision will sometime need to mean that people agree to disagree and refrain from majoring on the minors. Non-essentials can be turned into essentials when agendas are made out of personal preferences. People who have a divisive spirit and an ax to grind to go with it, are the usual suspects when people gather around non essentials and make them into sources of strife and division.

One of the best ways to discern unity in shared vision is to ask the kind of questions that illumine what a person would do differently if given total freedom to run or shape the organization themselves. Their answers will go a long way at identifying areas of unity and potential disunity.

As many spiritual leaders have articulated, “Vision builds consensus, not the other way around.” Being crystal clear about the vision of your spiritual organization and raising up those who are enthusiastically aligned to the essentials of that vision will go a long way at promoting the effectiveness and health of the organization. Plans and strategies should bend and sway with flexibility, but vision should be well defined and consistent.

Raising up people who you think you can ultimately change, when it comes to areas of disunity in the essentials of vision, is a prescription for future problems. When God is ready, he will bring or identify the right person for the job. Never let the pressures of ministry expansion cause you to take short cuts on shared vision. Furthermore, no matter how large and complicated your spiritual leadership culture becomes, keep a close ear to the floor on your staff and the people with whom you do ministry so as to listen for areas of disunity. A small crack on the ceiling is much easier to fix before it turns into a huge one, but it takes more attention to spot it.

Loyalty

“Let your heart therefore be loyal to the Lord our God, to walk in His statutes and keep His commandments, as at this day.” 1 Kings 8:61

Loyalty means that in your conversion, you have forever stepped onto God’s side of the cosmic battle between God and evil and you, first and foremost, will remain steadfast to God, His word, and purposes.

Loyalty means that you have the best interest at heart of the people who oversee you and team with you in ministry. Loyalty means that you put ministry process and parameters above opportunities for self centered pursuit. Loyalty means you care just as much about the relationship you have with those who oversee and team with you in ministry as you do about achieving goals and cranking out ministry product. Loyalty means that you give those who oversee you and team with you in ministry the benefit of the doubt. Loyalty means, within the bounds of integrity, you safeguard the leadership culture in which you operate and give honor and respect to those who oversee you and team with you in ministry. Loyalty means you value the integrity of the journey as much as the prize of the destination.

Loyalty is one of the most important ingredients to look for in a potential leader. Where there is a clear disregard or disrespect of the leadership culture of your organization or of those who make up the leadership, you can know for sure, you have identified a leadership candidate that is “no go for launch.”  A person can have disagreements or areas of concern or counsel for the leadership and still be respectful.

One of the difficult dynamics of loyalty is that it often can’t be tested until you go into battle or face some kind of challenge with that person at your side. Sometimes you can tell a potential leader’s capacity for loyalty by the way they carry themselves in relationships and how they handle power and responsibility. Another way you can discern a potential leader’s capacity for loyalty is by investigating how they finished things up at the last place they worked or led. People who are loyal don’t walk away from things easily nor do they typically do so with carelessness.

Ministry challenges are often the tmes when true loyalty is tested. Loyalty is easy when things are sailing smoothly, but kick up the winds and the waves and you will quickly find out who is with you and who isn’t. You will find out who sees your relationship with them as an end, or a means to an end. People who are loyal will be careful, committed, and conscientious about what they do and how they work within the system and culture of your spiritual organization. They will see their relationship with you as one that transcends ministry and not depends on it. They will look for every reason to be for you when others are looking for ways to be against you.

Great “Followship”

“They immediately left their nets and followed Him.”  Matthew 4:20

Among our leadership at CRBC, we have a saying “Bad followship never equates to good leadership.”

One of the greatest hallmarks of a genuine Jesus follower isn’t that they carry around a huge Bible and parade their spirituality so that all can see and adore. Rather, it is that they are doing serious battle with the evil within and around and are passionately seeking to “work out” their salvation and grow some spiritual fruit on the vine. The godly sorrow that led them to repentance and thus salvation remains with them as they learn to, more and more, hate what is evil and love what is good. The greatest hallmark of a Jesus follower is that they are in fact following. And in turn that “following” results in self leadership.  As in the book of James, faith without works is dead, so is leadership without followship.

Bad self leadership never leads to good people leadership.

People who are great followers are the kind of people you can tell are seriously fighting to grow spiritual in their lives, not for hype, but for true transformation that is evidenced in behavior. Words of correction or guidance don’t just roll of their back or become dismissed by cheap grace, but are seriously considered and put through the mill of discernment so they can be sure to hear God’s heart and desires.

People who are great followers understand that God created them to be in a constant state of spiritual progress. They embrace God’s growth movement in their life and value God’s life changing truth instead of consistently resisting it. People who are great followers have a healthy “fear” of the Lord. To be sure, none of us are always excited when God comes in and wants to move things around in our life. But in the end, great followers have an overall hunger and openness to putting more and more of their lives and living under the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

People who are great follower will take the heart the reality that you don’t really know the truth of Jesus Christ until you are actually live it as a lifestyle.

People who are great followers will have a meaningful, daily devotion life as they pray passionately study the scriptures and commit them to their heart and memory. They will take the Word of God seriously and see it as the ultimate authority for their living. People who are great followers will be life long learners and engaged in classes and small group offerings where they can spiritually grow in the context of meaningful relationships. They will be people who practice the spiritual disciplines of financial giving and serving on a consistent, regular basis.  They will be people who desire and utilize opportunities to share the Gospel with the lost and worship the Savior in His sanctuary.

People who are great followers will be lovers of healthy accountability so that their leadership and service can be protected by Godly guidance and authority. And when they fail, as Charles Spurgeon suggests, their repentance will be louder than their sin.

Positive Attitude

“Be joyful always” 1 Thessalonians 5:16

A person with a negative, high maintenances personality will be one that will require more attention and energy than you will probably be able to give in a leadership context, especially if you raise them up for significant areas of leadership. Attitude reflects the mindset of the person, and the mindset of the person reflects how they interpret, react and, respond to all of life, especially challenges.

Leaders need to always keep in mind the chemistry and ethos of their ministry teams and staff. Bringing on board a person with a bad attitude will potentially pull a dark cloud over the ministry and the team that leads it. Nothing weighs down the work of God more perhaps than a bad attitude.

The greatest challenge with people who have attitude problems is that it is very hard to change them. Often times, only the power of the Holy Spirit can brighten up a person’s outlook, especially since no one can choose their attitudes for them. If we have a bad attitude, it is no one else’s fault but our own.

At CRBC, we typically move people who have considerable attitude issues into a discipleship mode, not a leadership mode. The context of leadership is not the most conducive environment in which to deal with and minister to serious attitude problems, nor is it the most appropriate context to deal with issues where a person is significantly lacking in other indicators mentioned in this article.

Waiting to raise only people up who have positive/joyful attitudes is like waiting for the ice cream to melt a little bit before you try to scoop it out; it’s so much easier, it doesn’t take so much energy, and it won’t make unnecessary messes that you are going to have to clean up instead of enjoying your ice cream.

The Power of Ignorance

December 14, 2011 / / 0 Comments

Find me a place in your life (or mine) where Satan is having his way, and you will have found of place where likely there is ignorance. Hard to hear, hard to say, but true.

I have long believed that if you get the first couple chapters of the first book in the Bible right, much of your life will go right also. Unfortunately, most people don’t get the first 3 verses quite right, let alone the rest. Admittedly, this was the case for me for many years, so don’t feel bad if it’s true for you too.

Genesis 1:2-3 reads…

The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.
3 Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light.

There are three problems this scripture identifies that existed at the beginning of creation. We can know this by digging under the surface to the deeper Hebrew meanings of three of the words.

The Hebrew word for “without form” carries with it the idea of “disorder,” the word actually means this at its root. The word for “void” is the deeper word in Hebrew for “chaos.” Where there is disorder there is also chaos, the two fit hand in glove. The word “darkness” interestingly, is not the word that communicates the absence of illumination. It’s not the kind of darkness you get when you go into a cave or your closet at night. Rather, the word darkness is also the Hebrew word for “ignorance” or “without divine knowledge.”

The problems of disorder, chaos and ignorance/darkness are not from God. In fact, the Bible says the God is light, in Him there is no darkness. It also says that God is not a God of disorder nor is He the author of chaos. Rather, throughout scripture and creation, we see quite the opposite, God has put order into everything and His handwork and character can be seen in His creation. That’s because, in verse 3, God provides the solution… “light.” But it’s not the kind of light that you get when you flip the switch in your house, as a matter of fact, you may be surprised to notice that the “sun” is not given until verse 16. Rather, the word “light” is also the Hebrew word for “divine revelation” or “divine knowledge.”

So, in the Bible, where Satan is referred to as the “Prince of Darkness” it starts to make deeper sense. This reference to Satan doesn’t mean that he is the ultimate expert on how to navigate your car down a back-country road at night. The word “prince” carries with it the meaning “first to rule by.”

So Satan is the first to rule by ignorance. Very interesting.

One of the primary ways that Satan desires to rule your life is through ignorance. Find a place in your life where evil, disorder or chaos of any kind are getting the upper-hand, and I will find you a place where you are likely ignorant of God-knowledge. Either you have never received it or you have rejected it.

In the book of Hosea, the first three chapters put on display just about every problem or manifestation of evil a nation and/or a person can have in their life. The list is pretty exhaustive. Lust, corruption, depravity, violence, unrest, sin, turmoil, fear, and the list goes on and on. Yet what is so interesting is that in chapter 4:6, God reveals the root of the problem, and what He identifies might surprise you. God says, “my people are destroyed from a lack of knowledge.” Really? Not sin, not Satan, our two customary excuses? It really is true, the areas where you and I are being destroyed and discouraged in our life, are probably areas where we lack divine revelation or we have rejected it. There are principals of God that would provide the solution if applied, but either we do not know the principal(s) or we have rejected them.

Let me give you an example from my own life.

For some time, I was ignorant in an area of my walk with the Lord, probably because of a combination of a lack of revelation and a rejection of it. The bottom line is for a time, I was ignorant of how important it is to be “filled with the Spirit.” I was ignorant of the plain teachings of scripture that there is a difference between having the Holy Spirit “in you” and having Him “upon you.” One you receive at conversion, the other you need to ask for, receive, and open your life to following conversion. Yet, I always thought, at conversion, you get the Spirit “in you” and that’s it, game over, mission accomplished. Wow, was I ignorant. But once I heard and received divine knowledge about what Paul taught to converted Christians in Ephesus and elsewhere in scripture “be filled with Spirit” everything changed and my life and ministry moved to a whole new level of power and purpose. Areas where I had been defeated and discouraged, I was no more. As a matter of fact, soon after, God began to do miracles in my life, even a physical healing, and now He is doing miracles through my life, and that’s just the beginning.

If your marriage is in shambles, perhaps what you need isn’t more prayer, but to discover and apply revelation from God about how to have a healthy marriage. If your finances are in disorder, perhaps what you need is not another shouting rebuke of Satan, but to pursue God revelation for how to manage your finances and then apply what God reveals.

Satan can have no more power and authority in your life than you allow him. Where he has authority and power in your life is only where you have agreed with him to have it. Adam and Eve gave Satan authority by agreeing with Satan that eating the forbidden fruit was the best/right thing to do.

And chances are, whether it be in your marriage, your self-image, your finances, your attitude etc., where you are agreeing with him, you are doing so because you either lack divine knowledge or you have rejected it.

Satan would love nothing more than to drag you and me around by the leash of ignorance.

Pray, rebuke, fast, claim, declare, but don’t forget to not be stupid.

“My people are being destroyed by a lack of knowledge…” “The earth was in disorder, chaos, and ignorance, and God said, let there be “divine revelation.”

Thanks to Miles Munroe for inspiration

Backpedaling or Giving Up?

December 11, 2011 / / 0 Comments

Some time ago, we went through an experience with our son that has served to teach him (and all of us) the difference between backpedaling and giving up.

If you are like me, as a parent you never want to see your child “give up” on something. Whether it’s plans they have established, a team they are on, or a promise they have made. And so we teach them phrases like, “You need to finish what you start” and “Quitters never win, and winners never quit.” And rightly so, giving up is not a principal that one is served well to live by. In our convenience-laddened culture, the idea of “giving up” comes much too easily and prematurely. Many simply “give up” the moment the going gets tough or causes them inconvenience. Indeed, commitment is the willingness to be unhappy for a while.

Yet, at the same time, there are times when we need to backpedal. That is, we get into a situation we thought was healthy, right, and in the flow of God, only to clearly find out, it wasn’t. The writings are all over the wall, “something is deeply wrong and even evil here” or “there is something not of God about this” or “this is not something for which God is anointing you.” You may not see those messages with your physical eyes or hear them with your ears, but your discernment and spiritual eyes see it clearly. It’s not a matter of trying harder, cow-boying up, or just enduring a difficult season. It’s not about you merely being frustrated, tired, hurt, or discouraged. It’s about that fact that you pedaled into something thinking it was God’s leading, only to find out, God’s no longer into it, He was never into it from the beginning, or He isn’t into it for you.

Obviously, this takes some skills in discernment to know the difference. God often leads us into situations that are challenging to grow our character and dependence on Him. But at the same time, Satan loves to entice us into things that waste our time, steal our joy, and distract us from God’s true leading in our life.

What’s the difference? God’s presence.

The moment you feel God’s presence/anointing leave you or a situation, it’s time to back pedal, and fast. Yet, as long as you sense God’s presence/anointing, you should never give up.

There have been times of great challenge, adversity, pain, and struggle in my life where in my head I wanted to give up, and could come up with all kinds of reasons and excuses as to why I should and could even spiritualize them. However, God presence/anointing was still there, and so I couldn’t give up. It’s hard to explain in words, but to those who are sensitive to it and seek it out, you can have a sense of what God is anointing (putting His presence into) in your life, and what He isn’t.

A couple years ago, our son Harrison signed up to play challenge-level soccer. He made the U-11 team and was excited about the season ahead. Yet from the beginning, with coaching problems, parent problems, and player problems, we began to discern, “something isn’t right here.” But instead of pulling the trigger too soon, we decided to give it time and see what happens, even to the point I agreed to be the head coach of the team, even after two coaches had previously opted out. Yet the more I got involved, the more the signs became loud and clear, “something really isn’t right here” and this wasn’t a battle God wanted me to fight.

In life, we need to choose our battles carefully, and especially make sure that if you tee-it-up for battle, God better be in it with you. Sometimes we take on challenges and battles God never gave us the green light for. And then we wonder why we tire easily, get bruised and battered, and ultimately wind up discouraged and even defeated.

So what did we do? We back pedaled. We didn’t give up on soccer and I didn’t give up on coaching. Not a chance. Rather, we backpedaled off the team and redirected ourselves to another opportunity for Harrison and our family where we felt God was putting His presence into. It wasn’t an easy decision, but one we knew we had to make if we wanted to be in God’s flow for our family.

Three great questions we all need to ask about every opportunity before us…

1) Is this God’s will? 2) Is this God’s will for me? 3) Is this God’s will for me at this time?

And even after all of your best discernment, always remember, there is nothing wrong with backpedaling when you find yourself into something God is simply not into, or God is simply not into for you

« Older posts Newer posts »

© 2024 Chris Kratzer

Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: