Evangelical Christian, What The Hell Did You Expect Me To Do?

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What the hell did you expect me to do?

You told me to love my neighbors, to model the life of Jesus. To be kind and considerate, and to stand up for the bullied.

You told me to love people, consider others as more important than myself. “Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight.” We sang it together, pressing the volume pedal and leaning our hearts into the chorus.

You told me to love my enemies, to even do good to those who wish for bad things. You told me to never “hate” anyone and to always find ways to encourage people.

You told me it’s better to give than receive, to be last instead of first. You told me that money doesn’t bring happiness and can even lead to evil, but taking care of the needs of others brings great joy and life to the soul.

You told me that Jesus looks at what I do for the least-of-these as the true depth of my faith. You told me to focus on my own sin instead of trying to police it in others. You told me to be accepting and forgiving.


I paid attention.

I took every lesson.

And I did what you told me.


But now, you call me a libtard. A queer-lover.

You call me “woke.” A backslider.

You call me a heretic. A child of the devil.

You call me a false prophet. A reprobate leading people to gates of hell.

You call me soft. A snowflake. A socialist.


What the hell did you expect me to do?


You passed out the “WWJD” bracelets.

I took it to heart.

I thought you were serious, apparently not.


We were once friends. But now, the lines have been drawn. You hate nearly all the people I love. You stand against nearly all the things I stand for. I’m trying to see a way forward, but it’s hard when I survey all the hurt, harm, and darkness that comes in the wake of your beliefs and presence.


What the hell did you expect me to do?


I believed it all the way.

I’m still believing it all the way.

Which leaves me wondering, what happened to you?


Grace is brave. Be brave.


Check out Chris’ latest book, Stupid Shit Heard In Church available on Amazon (link below)…

What people are saying:

“After reading just a few chapters, I had to schedule an appointment with my therapist, it’s that good.”

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“Profound, life-changing; that says it all!”


  1. Dan

    For all of you that have discovered these truths, it’s time to move on. Don’t worry and be hurt by the people who are still caught up in this lie. God loves them and will take them where He wants them to be. Take your freedom and live it among those who will accept it. Stop casting your pearls before swine (God loves swine, too). Put your pearls where they will do the most good. Once you take this leap, and move away from those who can or won’t grasp this truth, life becomes so much more rewarding and positive! “Grace is brave. Be brave!”

    • ckratzer

      Good advice!

  2. Steve the Searcher

    Chris, you summarized the current situation extremely well in this post. I feel exactly the same, but this isn’t something new. The main thing I’ve discovered in researching 2,000 years of Christianity for my new book is that Christians have NEVER been in agreement on those qualities of love and inclusiveness. I think I’m coming to the conclusion that those Christians you are trying to reach were not indoctrinated into the religion of a loving Jesus. They were indoctrinated into a perversion of it, where judging and criticizing others is more important than compassion and forgiveness.

    • ckratzer

      Nice insights! Thanks for reading and commenting.

  3. Donna

    So. Much. Truth. And this equates exactly to how I grew up and what I now see happening

    • ckratzer

      Thanks Donna!

  4. Christopher Burrell

    The mistake being made here is over emphasizing “Love your neighbor”. This is indeed important, but it is not license to accept, support, or encourage sinful behavior. Do you love an alcoholic by encouraging them to drink more? An important part of Christian beliefs is the prohibition against sexual immorality. This is not just against lgbtq. The only justifiable sexuality, per Christian faith, is between a married man and woman, who have taken their vows seriously, for better or for worse, for health or sickness, for wealth or poverty, til death do us part. People engaging in behavior outside of that are committing an offense against Jesus. When an adulterer woman was brought before Jesus, He said let him without sin cast the first stone. But He did not then say, “Woman, you are forgiven and you may go back to your sin now.” No, He said, “Woman, you are forgive, go and sin no more.”
    This does not mean we should be hateful or angry toward sinners, but that we should not be encouraging them in their sinfulness against the Lord. Admittedly, many self-proclaimed Christians also fail to understand this critical part of faithfulness.

    • ckratzer

      There are many Jesus loving, truth loving, Scripture loving scholars who believe that the Bible does not condemn LGBTQ as a sin. Your interpretation is your interpretation, nothing more.

      • Dan

        Hear! Hear! Loving (not enabling) a perceived sinner is not justifying sin. Let God be the judge of sin. Jesus made it very clear that judging is not our job.

  5. Steve the Searcher

    After immersing myself in Christian history for several years I’m coming to the realization that orthodox Christianity was built on judging others. That was its default, and that’s the mindset that was passed down to many current Christians. They judged and punished in an attempt to make everyone think and act the same way.

    Many of the heretics were the Christians who saw the humanist Jesus as we do. It’s more of an enlightened way of thinking that the orthodox church didn’t want to encourage. Don’t forget that for many centuries the Church did not want the Bible translated into any language from the original Greek and Latin. They wanted only clergy to know what was in it. Making the book available to the average person would have undermined what the orthodox Church was trying to do, and that was to create a monolithic institution with total control over people’s physical and spiritual lives. They were addicted to power and didn’t want Christians to know that Jesus opposed their methods.

  6. Anne Hendrickson

    What part of we love, glorify, worship jesus/god did they not make clear? People can go f themselves.

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