Tag: male

Toxic Masculinity From A Toxic God

August 25, 2022 / / 2 Comments

*trigger warning: abuse

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Thoughts lead to feelings. Feelings lead to actions. Actions lead to attitudes. Attitudes lead to behaviors.

 

It’s no wonder that many within the conservative brands of Christianity have adopted a toxic masculinity not unlike the god in which they subscribe. Believing in a vengeful, callous, narcissistic, exclusive, male, and patriarchal god will most certainly lead to feeling and behaving in much the same way and defining masculinity with much the same attributes and attitudes.

 

With an insistence on a literal interpretation of the Bible and a claim to holding the one true understanding of it, many conservative Christians have shaped God into a white-bearded man who is always right, always justified in his actions no matter how questionable, has little to no compassion nor emotional connection, and gets what he wants when he wants it. It’s as if they have created God in their own image instead of embracing the image in which God has created all people. In fact, it’s interesting that, in their minds, God is somehow always supporting and siding with their thoughts, beliefs, actions, attitudes, and behaviors as if God is under their authority and direction instead of the other way around.

 

For when your best ideas for “masculinity” are to become more aggressive, controlling, forceful, stern, abrasive, self-centered, emotionally distant, and entitled while becoming less compassionate, patient, kind, gentle, loving, peaceful, sacrificial, and emotionally accessible. You have not only betrayed God’s design for all humanity, you are blaspheming the fruit of the Spirit and sabotaging their growth and manifestation in men. Period.

 

According to their own creeds, “In Christ, there is neither male nor female.” Men don’t get an exemption from being like Jesus nor an excuse for living in ways contrary to His graciousness, patience, humility, humbleness, tenderness, compassion, mercy, and softness. To pull these divine threads out of the tapestry of masculinity is to cut Jesus out of masculinity. You can’t be a male “in Christ” without them being lived and manifested in your life. Being a loving, peaceful, temperate, emotional, agreeable, nurturing, warm, and gentle person is not reserved for nor assigned merely to women. There’s nothing inherently complementarian about being male or female, there is only being fully human—with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

 

Make no mistake, what so many conservative Evangelicals fear most is men actually following and becoming like Jesus. All their power, privilege, patriarchy, sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, and bigotry rests on the spiritual and emotional immaturity of men. That’s why they fight so vehemently to control “masculinity” and the masculine narrative. Make God look like a man just like them, and their boys will become just like them too. Never let them see the true Jesus. Never let them think, feel, and behave beyond their testosterone-driven image. Never let them exchange a narcissistic, poisonous distortion of masculinity for the beauty of being Jesus—fully human; of and with the divine.

 

I remember the time, as a 10 year old, when I was frightened by the story of God drowning the people in the flood. My mother comforted me by saying, “God created rainbows to remind us He’d never do that again.” As if God just had a bad day, and accidently stormed out of heaven like a drunk stumbling out of a bar, and committed genocide. Nothing to see here. Nothing that a rainbow can’t fix. “I’ll never do it again, I promise” says God. “Boys will be boys” says Evangelicals. 

 

I also remember the time, as a 6 year old, when I walked down the stairs from my bedroom into the living room to see that my dad had my mom tied up with a rope on the couch. Their fighting had woken me up, again. When he saw me looking around the corner, he told me it was to “control her” because she was, “out of control.”

 

Ropes, rainbows—symbols of abuse, not care.

Promises from a narcissist of more narcissism, not change or hope.

Confessions of toxic masculinity born from a toxic God.

 

Love doesn’t need rainbows or ropes; manipulation or control, aggression or compliance.

Masculinity doesn’t either—it does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth

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Grace is brave. Be brave.

 

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The Real Reason Many Christians Support Trump

August 10, 2020 / / 24 Comments

The difference is obvious, Trump is nothing like Jesus. A simple comparison of their character and ways reveal this truth.

Yet, so many Christians, in essence, don’t give a damn. For them, there is literally nothing he could say or do that would dislodge their obedience towards Trump. This has left analysts and Trump-disgusted Christians trying to crack the code as to how anyone who associates with Jesus could place their support and allegiance in such an anti-Jesus man and President.

The answer is simple. 

White, male-driven, conservative American Christianity has taken the person of Jesus who stands “for” so many beautiful things and twisted Him into a religion centered around the destruction of what they stand “against.” In truth, the Trump supporter isn’t concerned with what Trump is doing “for” Jesus, but rather intoxicated by what he is doing “against” their contrived enemies.

For example, for most white conservative Christians, converting people to Christ isn’t really about getting people into heaven, no matter how much they try to wrap their efforts with spiritual ribbons and bows. Instead, it serves as a weapon towards the dismantling of those religions they are “against.” Ultimately, their overarching concern isn’t about taking more people with them into the next world. Rather, their deepest care is centered around making this world more “like” themselves and more “for” themselves. Therefore, all the religions and beliefs that don’t fit their mold and foster their privilege are pinned upon the map of their enemies. In their mind, we can’t have a world where other religions and faiths are of equal value, worth, truth, rights, and influence. So, conversion thwarts this feared reality in hopes of ridding it completely from the planet via assimilation or persecution. For if white Christians were altruistically concerned about the eternity of their unbelieving neighbors, they’d be hitting the streets every moment of every day with a serving and sacrificial kind of love that couldn’t be resisted. But, they aren’t.

This is true of the white, male-driven, Christian colonization of America, their unwavering support of Israel, and the brutal eradication of Native Americans. No matter how much Manifest Destiny Lipstick you put on that pig, when your bottom line purpose is to make the world more “like” you and “for” you, anyone and anything that doesn’t foster and surrender to that agenda becomes a bright blip on the radar screen of the enemies you stand “against.”

This is also true of Trump’s Muslim travel ban, the border wall, and the increased demand for so-called religious freedom. None of it is about protecting our country from terrorism, illegal immigration, crime, nor fostering true religious pluralism. Instead, it’s about giving leverage and privilege to white, male-driven, conservative American Christianity through the demonizing, marginalizing, and belittling of all other religions and peoples.

This is why many so-called Christians are unwavering with their loyalty towards Trump, he falls in line and beats the drums of their rage towards all the things they hate. It has nothing to do with what Trump is doing “for” Jesus, it’s about what he is doing “against” their perceived enemies.

Think about the LGBTQ community. White, male-driven, conservative American Christianity wants us all to believe that their vehement disgust with this issue is because it’s a sin that offends God and undermines our culture. Excuse me, but that’s hilarious. 

What white, male-driven American Christianity cares about within the LGBTQ community is their relentless desire for shared rights. They can’t stand the idea that heterosexual patriarchy would have to share equal value, priority, influence, protections, space, and rights with any group besides themselves. If they cared about sin, they would be spending all their time policing the mountain high pile of debauchery rampant within their own camp and the numbers among them who, ironically, enjoy lesbian porn. Instead, they demonize and stand “against” the LGBTQ community, not because they are “for” dealing with sin (which LGBTQ it is not), but because they don’t want to share their heterosexual, patriarchal privilege.

The same is true of their oppression of other minorities. Within white, male-driven, conservative American Christianity there is a certain level of diversity they are willing to accept as long as they can patronize it, exploit it, and it doesn’t threaten their dominance in society. However, when that diversity finds its wings and starts to feel like it is crossing the line by encroaching the sandbox of their privilege and power, all bets are off and the bully is released. 

This is the root impulse behind every form of their oppression of minorities. White, male-driven, conservative American Christianity wants power, control, and prominence in all of society, and they will use whatever methods to achieve this goal. Slavery, mass incarceration, lynchings, police brutality, tear gas, denial of rights, economic inequality, sexism, voter suppression, rigged elections, dictatorships, lying, labeling, denying science, weaponizing the Bible, demonizing, false-flag operations, fraud, constitutional abuse, and the list is unending. They don’t give-a-rip about aligning their values and pursuits with Jesus, they only care about aligning their lives and spinning their faith “against” anything and everything that threatens their appetite and addiction to self preservation and prosperity.  

Once again for the people in the back, this is why white, male-driven, conservative American Christians are unwavering with their loyalty towards Trump. He echoes and magnifies their rage towards the things they fear and hate. It’s not about what he is doing “for” Jesus, it’s about what he is doing “against” the people and things they fear will undermine their privileged way of life. In their minds, this country is for them, given by God to them, and should always serve and reflect them above all things. Some will “tolerate” a certain amount of controlled “sharing” as long as they’re still king of the mountain. It helps them sleep at night and convince themselves that they aren’t racist, sexist, or white privileged. However, to the privileged, the emergence of true equality always feels like war, a war they must fight. That’s how you know where racism truly lives; look for the subtle “actions” against, and the subtle “inactions” towards true equality.  

See, when people criticize white, conservative American Christians for not being “for” Jesus or for supporting a President who isn’t “for” Jesus, it all rolls off their back because ultimately it isn’t about being “for” Jesus anyways. It’s about fighting a war “against” what threatens their privilege. That’s why they will perform all sorts of spiritual gymnastics, rationalize their duplicities, and do anything to divert attention away from the stark contrast between Trump, Republicans, conservative Evangelicalism and the person and ways of Jesus. For them, standing against and thwarting their enemies trumps following Jesus every time. All pun intended.

Therefore, it’s largely useless to argue with Trump supporters about Jesus. To them, He’s irrelevant and can be rationalized away. Instead, what is relevant is their hate, fear, oppressiveness, and self-centeredness. Focusing on these issues is key. 

For these are the huge under-the-surface sins that have given rise to what we see on the surface of the iceberg of white, male-driven, conservative American Christianity today. Find me anything and everything that they stand “against” and it can be clearly connected, not to their love of humanity, freedom, or America, but to their hateful, fearful, oppressive, and self-centered desire to protect and prosper their white, male-driven, conservative Christian privilege and dominance in all of American society–period, full stop.

The real reason why many Christians support Trump isn’t about his being “for” Jesus, but about his being “against” the equality and diversity that threatens white, male-driven, conservative American Christian supremacy. 

 

Grace is brave. Be brave. 

If Only Conservative Evangelicals Were Honest

September 28, 2018 / / 31 Comments

Unfortunately, even a small step into the world of conservative Evangelicalism can leave you spinning like a breakdancer on crack cocaine. As masters of illusion and spiritual sleight of hand, right wing Christianity has lured many into its religious Borg of deception and trickery. As a result, countless lives have been mesmerized into its web, only to become spiritually strung out and abused by a gospel that is, in fact, no Gospel at all, a Christian life that is largely devoid of Christ, and a faith culture that, in the end, primarily worships self.

If only conservative Evangelicalism valued honesty and displayed even the slightest measure of truth-in-advertising, so many of its adherents wouldn’t be drinking the poison believing it’s the cure, and so many lives wouldn’t be devastated as a result.   

To be sure, these are tough words. But, words that must be spoken for truth to have the power to bring its freedom.

For sadly, transparency doesn’t seem to be an important value within much of the conservative Evangelical tribe. Perhaps, because, if they were forced to render an open and honest disclosure of the true nature and aspirations of their faith, there are numerous disturbing realities they’d have to admit—realities that no amount of staging, skinny jeans, tattoos, slick branding, and multi-million dollar facilities can disguise.  

In fact, if conservative Evangelicals were truly honest and forthright, many of them would have to admit…

We Support Trump Because We Are Fundamentally Selfish People– The days are long over when conservative Evangelicals can honestly blame “Hillary,” or claim their continued support for Trump is based on “Christian” values. For Trump is clearly no Christian, and his values and leadership are nothing like Christ. Rather, the hard truth is, conservative Evangelicalism is largely sexist, homophobic, transphobic, racist, greedy, and privileged—not unlike president Trump. Therefore, when they fearfully gaze upon a world that increasingly stands against and is evolving past their values and aspirations, in panic, they have decided to sell their soul to the one man whom they believe will protect their religious ideology from the masses that are rising above and beyond it. Even the issue of abortion is one upon which conservative Evangelicals can no longer honestly hoist their flag, as their theology of a god who sends His enemies to hell, their murderous shaming of the LGBTQ community, and their blatant greed and inhumane disregard for minorities and those from whom they cannot benefit, are far less than, “pro-life.”  

For sadly, the bottom line of much of conservative Evangelicalism is this—keeping and prospering their white, conservative, Christian, male, heterosexual privilege, even to the detriment and complete cessation of following Jesus and manifesting His Love. For them, it has become all to clear, money is more important than integrity, power is more important than sacrifice, privilege is more important than people, and control is more important than Christ. In fact, if conservative Evangelicals were honest they would post signs on every corner of their church lawns, “It’s never been about sin, Biblical faithfulness, Jesus, or divine morality—it’s always been about us and our big, fat, gluttonous, religious Empire of supremacy.” An Empire, sadly, that believes God created America exclusively for them, Jesus is a white, gun owning Republican, and prosperity and power are their divine right, inheritance, and mandate.  

If only conservative Evangelicals were honest.

Many would also have to admit…  

We Love People Only As Much As It Benefits Us To Do So- For if, to truly love another means the sacrificing of power, privilege, or the prospering of their faith ideology, all bets are off. Yes, many conservative Evangelicals love to serve the impoverished and others in need, but only as long as it fashions them a spiritual notch on their belt or the increase of financial giving to their ministry. So many Christian conferences on the topic of church growth blatantly frame the importance of “community service” as being integral to the ultimate goal of either increasing the financial and physical buy-in of people to their ministry or converting people into their fold. But when truly loving people isn’t politically correct or doesn’t prosper their bottom line, it’s almost nowhere to be found among conservative Evangelicals. For where is their true love of the LGBTQ community, the immigrant, or the minority? Where is their true care for victims of racism, children kept in cages seeking asylum, transgender people committing suicide, and brave women speaking out about being sexually assaulted by men? Where is the Jesus who protected and stood in solidarity with women who were bullied and oppressed by religious male abuse? Where is the Jesus who protected and stood in solidarity with the least of these, even to the sacrifice of His own life? Sadly, among much of conservative Evangelicalism, He is almost nowhere to be found. For there is always a catch, and that catch is crystal clear—many conservative Evangelicals care about humanity only as far as it is in their self-centered benefit to do so. In fact, if many conservative Evangelicals were honest, they would post a disclaimer underneath every crucifix they display, “We only care about the cross as far as it is convenient and conducive for us to do so. Sorry, not so sorry.”

If only conservative Evangelicals were honest.

They would also have to admit…    

We Believe Our White Christian Privilege Gives Us The Power To Justify Evil, Define Morality, And Embrace Duplicity- Just ask the LGBTQ community, or their parents who can’t sleep at night in fear for their children. Just ask countless women like Christine Blasey Ford, or the American Indian. Just ask the black community, or the person devoid of affordable healthcare. Just ask the countless people condemned, marginalized, and sent to the curb by conservative Evangelicalism. The river of blood flowing from the wake of right-wing conservative Christianity is never ending, if only they embraced the honesty to see it.

In fact, the truth is, if many conservative Evangelicals were ever compelled by the Spirit to honesty look into the mirror, they would break to their knees in sorrow and write upon their foreheads a confession for all to see, “It is we who have become the enemy of all that is Jesus and truly American.” We are the ones whose addiction to power is detrimental to life, equality, and freedom. We are the ones seduced by greed to the point of becoming a blasphemy of Jesus and His ways. We are the ones who worship our faith ideology to the complete denial of Christ and His Gospel of peace. We are the ones who refuse to put down our guns, bigotry, narcissism, privilege, and thirst for supremacy, and instead, take up the cross and follow Him.

For sadly, there has never been a greater evil wielded upon our planet than the dark faith system of conservative Evangelicalism that now excels like never before at spiritual justifying the manifestation of hell upon the earth, defining morality for its benefit, and embracing duplicity in the name of protecting and prospering their faith ideology.

If only conservative Evangelicals were honest.

So many would also have to admit…

We Believe Our Faith Understanding Is Right And All Others Are Wrong- As a matter of full disclosure and honesty, this sentiment should be clearly expressed in every conservative Evangelical church bulletin and upon every worship screen—”Conform or be cast out.” For the true goal of conservative Evangelicalism isn’t to lead people to freely think, believe, and grow in Christ. Rather, it’s to lead people to think, believe, and become one of them—convinced they have been exclusively granted the divine stamp of theological and spiritual approval from Jesus Himself. So much, that to be deemed “wrong” or “lost” by conservative Evangelicals is to likely become their spiritual project of conversion and conformity. A project where, if you refuse, resist, or color outside the lines, you are then subtly or not so subtly shunned, condemned, demonized, and even labeled as worthy to be cast into a hell of eternal torment. For the basis of their unity is not in the mutual journey one is taking to embrace divine spirituality, but rather upon the level of conformity, submission, and loyalty that one is willing to display towards their religious ideology. Either you are “in” or you or “out,” saved or lost, member or heathen, faithful or carnal, right or wrong. In fact, from the very same religious spirit that can lead to the emergence of dark realities such as racism, elitism, violence, and even genocide, much of conservative Evangelicalism has embraced an “us” vs. “them” mentality that has become capable of spiritual justifying some of the very worst of evils, all in the name of Jesus.

If only conservative Evangelicals were honest.

They’d finally have to admit…

We Are Really Just Faking It- For them, this is perhaps the hardest disclosure of all. Why? Because admitting they are no better, holier, righteous, valued, spiritual, saved, and loved than any other completely dismantles so much of their entire faith system and confronts them with their most haunting reality—human equality is at the center of Jesus and His Gospel of Grace. This is the truth they so vehemently seek to deny, demonize, and destroy, because when all are equal in God’s sight, then power, privilege, condemnation, and supremacy can be no more.

If only conservative Evangelicals were honest.

America, and the world beyond would be such a more beautiful place.

 

Grace is brave. Be brave.

 

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Conservative Evangelical Christianity, The Death Of America

October 28, 2017 / / 37 Comments

There’s an unsettling of the Spirit moving across the land—the culmination of years of religious Christian corruption. Good people everywhere are sensing it deep within. What for many has been a growing source of suspicion is now becoming a for certain certainty.  A time of emerging clarity is upon us as the curtains are drawn open and the true Wizard is revealed. Yet, there will be no clicking of the heels to save us now. For the American dream is being diabolically hijacked into the Conservative Evangelical scheme—God help us all.

In fact, in my estimation, there is truly no greater evil being wielded upon the earth. The false gospel of Evangelical Christianity has long been eroding our society, creating spiritual junkies, and asserting a white male heterosexual imperialism and privilege into every segment of our living. Its prescriptions for sin management only serve to further increase it, leaving good people spiritually strung out, hypocritical, self-righteous, and addicted to the poison, not the cure. With an insistence upon believing that God is angry, vengeful, and condemning of a sin-ladened humanity, followers spiritually justify a self-deputization to police society as they live out their perceived calling to convert the world to their privileged ideology, lest we all burn in hell. No matter the nobility of some with their good intentions and heart, the true aspirations, pursuits, and passions of much of conservative Evangelical Christianity are not true freedom and equality for all, but religious power and control for them. In their minds and hearts, the ushering in of the Kingdom of God is in reality, the ushering in of a white male heterosexual conservative Evangelical dominance in all places and things.

In contrast, a brown-skinned Jewish-born Jesus was crucified for bringing a scandalous message and manifestation of true Divinity that levels the playing field for all. For Grace is the great equalizer—none are better, only different—no matter your color, creed, orientation, gender, age, or status. Everyone is valued equally, all are given freedom completely, and no one is left condemned, unaccepted, or without affirmation, dignity, and community. Our best and worse performances are rendered powerless to sway that hands of God as our wholeness and purity before Her are irrevocably secured. Love is the very nature of God, and Grace is the only way of true Life. Faith is merely awakening to Grace by the power Christ’s faith within us. For Jesus came to destroy the ways of power, control, discrimination, violence, greed, and self-righteousness that empower the religious spirit who can so easily seduces us all—emptying Himself completely to reveal our true beauty and capacity to embrace what unites, heals, and connects us all—Love.

Sadly, as it was in the beginning, it is now most assuredly. The very same unconditional Love that brings heaven to the broken and emancipation to the captive, feels like hell to the religious, sending them into tailspins of furiously frustrated angst and rebellion—willing to crucify Jesus yet again wherever His truth threatens their evil empire. For the greatest menace to the conservative Evangelical Machine that seeks to overrun our planet is the emergence of true freedom and equality for all. That Jesus loves all, redeems all, embraces all, affirms all, and blesses all with heaven’s unlimited supply of equality and freedom is their greatest fear, trigger, and vulnerability—rendering their monstrous system of faith to be impotent, fraudulent, and devoid of true Life. That’s why nearly every conservative Evangelical interpretation of Scripture, personification of God, and assertion in society is desperately bent on diluting and covering up this revelation of Grace and its manifestation upon the earth, and quickly replacing it with a conditional religious self-righteous brand of believing—not because they are lovers of Truth, but because they are worshippers of power. For violence, hatred, bigotry, discrimination, greed, self-righteousness, judgmentalism, and evil are not intrinsic to being truly human, they’re actually common byproducts of being truly religious—subhuman.

This is the real cataclysmic spiritual battle being waged all around us that is now infiltrating and threatening the future of our country like never before. For what is the greatest obstacle to the full fruition of white male heterosexual conservative Evangelical dominance? A nation founded and anchored upon the sure premise that true equality, dignity, and freedom is for all, by divine design and sanction. For no one desires to commandeer the American flag, hijack our constitution, and fashion Jesus into the hood ornament of their world bulldozer more than white male heterosexual right-wing conservative Evangelical Christianity. In fact, the truth is, “Make America Great” is Evangelical code for “Make America Ours.” And not just America—the entire world.

My friend, most everything you see happening is leading towards these ends. Open your eyes to see and your ears to hear. The underlying reason why racism still lives and thrives, sexism is still rampant, homophobia and transphobia increases, kneeling for the national anthem is rendered a deplorable crime, the drums of war keep pounding, public school systems are being undermined, human rights are being dismissed, churches raise the Christian flag above our national flag, wars on drugs are declared that end up disproportionately imprisoning the black population and using them for free labor, foundational Christian morals and values are conveniently suspended in order to elect a white, male, heterosexual, Evangelical supporting President, and conservative Christians are charged with the mandate to assert their faith and values into every sector of society in order to win dominance. All of this is for one purpose, and one purpose alone—the full fruition of a white male heterosexual conservative Evangelical Christian Empire, even to the destruction of America and beyond.

All this talk about sin, Jesus, morality, truth, biblical faithfulness, fairness, and societal health coming from the bloviations of right-wing conservative Christianity—don’t be fooled and bite from the dark fruits dangling off their tree. It’s all smoke and mirrors to disguise the real agenda hissing in the shadows. For if it were all about Jesus, sin, hell, and scriptural faithfulness, conservative Evangelical Christianity would be fully immersed and passionately engaged in all things opposite of what we see so many of them pursuing—and most of all, racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, imperialism, bigotry, violence, white-privilege, greed, and self-righteousness would be rendered the greatest of sins and cease to be legitimized within American Christianity, resulting in it all becoming largely dismantled in our society.

Yet sadly, that day is not here, and likely not forthcoming. For the tenets of true freedom, divine dignity, and equality for all upon which this nation was birthed, are the ultimate obstacles to conservative Evangelical Christianity’s battle to take the hill and Lord itself over our country. For at the end of the day, what matters most is that true freedom, divine dignity, and equality for all is contrary to the conservative Evangelical agenda of white male heterosexual power and privilege. In fact, perhaps nothing is more repulsive to the Evangelical religious system than people living free to believe, worship, and pursue happiness outside of their control and without compliance to their creeds, especially those who in doing so would foster the dismantling of white male heterosexual conservative Evangelical power and privilege.

Connect the dots, look beyond the obvious, and engage the spiritual discernment the mind of Christ within you affords. Theological, spiritual, moral, and religious error, slight of hand, and brainwashing of this magnitude are never achieved unintentionally.

Grace is brave. Be brave.

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