Tag: abortion

A Letter From An Aborted Child To Their Mom

Dear Mom,

I know what you’re thinking, how can “I” possibly be speaking?

Everything has a voice.

Every cell in your body has a voice—a memory.

You think of me. Moments, thoughts, feelings, uncertainties, dreams, indecision, the unexpected—I will always be with you.

That’s a voice.

Maybe you didn’t hear me then—lots of distractions, pressures, decisions, competing voices. I understand, but perhaps you would hear me now.

A person is never the sum of a moment or period in their life—they are eternal.

A time, a stage, a segment of their life does not define them or whether they are in fact a “them.” The moment your egg and my father’s sperm united, eternity spoke its creative evaluation and decision that I am a person. Besides, there is no other outcome that orchestration signifies nor grows. Somehow, someway, God or no God, intended or not, positive or negative, the cosmos was aligned to bring me to be, a human. Not as an intention, or a future formation, even if just an egg and sperm together, I have always been a person. That whole conception thing may have been my beginning, but every person has a beginning that does not make them any less a person from the beginning. I was not a “leading to life,” but life from the beginning.

All of this is to say—mom, you have a child, it’s me.

I’m still alive. Both in you, as a memory, and in heaven as a person, for eternity.

You have a child. It’s me. I’m speaking.

Mom, please listen—please.

I want you to know, I understand. Maybe you feel deep regret, maybe it was a confusing time, maybe you didn’t care at all. I understand—life is so complicated.

Yes, I think about what could have been, as probably you do as well. It’s sad, it’s painful, it’s hard—but, I am alive.

I still have a voice.

I want to tell you that I love you. I want to tell you that our eyes will meet one day. I can’t wait to wrap my arms around you, I practice for that moment with great anticipation.

I’m not angry with you, I don’t hold anything against you. In fact, Jesus and I have talked, and we both take great delight in you. Besides, on earth, who knows the mistakes I would have surely made, too many to count—reaching out for your patience, forgiveness, and long-suffering. Mom, I have nothing but love for you.

You are not less to me, you always have been more. It’s not about what could have been—it’s about what is, what can, and will be.

Mom, you have so much still to give, to share. You are so beautiful, especially to me.

I pray, in some way, my voice can speak through your voice.

Perhaps in that way, even now, we can be mother and child, together.

A voice of healing.

A voice of hope.

A voice, leading to better understanding.

A voice of clarity within the complexity.

A voice that speaks, from what at first was thought to have no speak.

I love you mom—always have, always will.

I am so proud of you—that you are my mom, always and forever.

I hope you hear me.

Love,

Me

Grace is brave. Be brave.

Christian, Shut Up And Listen Already

I get it, there are a lot of high-volume issues at play in the jukebox of our culture.

Sexuality, immigration, terrorism, politics, economics, war, racism, poverty, abortion. All, filling the airwaves with their sound. Complex voices, ringing around our heads. Stirring our thoughts, twisting our emotions. Reverberating straight to the bottom, rattling the very essence of our souls, forcing the ultimate question…

What does it mean to be Christian?

You want it to calm down, turn down, settle down, make it all go away. What you don’t understand you label as noise. What doesn’t fit your theological playlists, you quickly eject. Cupping your ears, you crank up the volume of familiar hymns. Drowning out, discrediting what doesn’t align. The voices God wants so desperately to speak to your faith, you simply want to subtract.

What you call static, Jesus calls sacred…humanity crying out, if only to be heard.

So much to learn, so much to understand, so much to be gained. This is what learners of Jesus are supposed to do… learn.

Our culture is a concert hall of instruments, each in their own way, crying out with the same longing. A beautiful song. What does it truly look like to be human? To be pleasing to our Maker. Is it being more like this, or more like that. Living this way or living that. Believing more over here, or believing more over there. Each having a melody. If only to be heard.

What you call unconscionable, even unlovable, Jesus calls undeniable, even in-condemnable…humanity crying out, if only to be affirmed.

At the core of every soul is an ancient desire fashioned from the eternal, to love and be loved. To have value, to have worth. Meaning, purpose… beating the beats of our heart. To be alive in our living.  Just… to be… frigging… affirmed.

But you don’t hear it, and you won’t hear it.

Sadly, we Christians suck at learning, even more at listening. We think it’s all about the concluding and the speaking. In our arrogance, we assume we already have what needs to be said, believe it’s our job to say it, and people need to hear it.

Spoiler alert. Christian, nobody gives a damn! You’ve lost your credibility. You’re all talk, no listen.

Licking your chops, unfolding your talking points, “this is what the Bible says.” We play in bands of like-mindedness, creating walls of sound to out-sound opponents. Walled in spiritual neighborhoods of little pink theologies. We Christians are experts at volume; speaking over, drowning out… ideas, creeds, viewpoints… even people.

This is who we have become. Noisy. Mute-button, Christians.

Can you just shut up already? For Christ’s sake… shut up?

You are speaking to be heard rather then listening to become a voice. And therefore, you have no voice that our culture is willing to hear.

When is the last time you sat down, and just listened?

Listened to the journey of a homosexual. The path of one who is transgender. A Muslim’s story. Or that of a mother who had an abortion. Broke bread with one who believes differently. Sat at the feet of a black man, an hispanic women. Dare I ask, maybe even an enemy.

When was the last time, you frigging just listened?

Give me the day, the hour, the minute.

I’m not talking about listening to tolerate, with spiritual eyes rolling in the back of your head. Going through mission-statement motions.

I’m talking about sitting to be transformed. To see Jesus where you believe you will see none.

Is your faith system so weak that you can’t think, reflect, listen, question… even learn, possibly come to a new perspective?

Within the sound of everything you label as noise, are the cries of real people, longing to be heard.

Our culture is listening for our listening, not for our words.

There should never be a voice that needs to force to be heard. Never a person questioning, desperately desperate to be affirmed.

Yet this is what we Christians have created. Hell on earth. A culture, a world, that has to cry, beg, plead… just to be heard, just to be loved, just to be affirmed.

That is the last thing that should be happening where we Christians are near.

Folks, this isn’t a game where the loudest voice wins. In fact, it’s where we listen, and only where we listen, that Jesus begins.

For the every cry of every person has already been heard and answered by Grace. We simply listen and point to the beauty of His face.

It’s that simple.

He is our voice, His Gospel is this… that in Christ, all are unconditionally loved, affirmed, valued, and desired. None are better, only different. Adored, delighted, saved, made whole, in Him.

This is our faith. This is the Kingdom.

It only begins however, when we shut up, and listen.

Christian…

for Christ’s sake…

shhhh, shhh, shh,

shut up…

and listen.

Hot Potato – Addressing the Tough Issues with Grace

From homosexuality to abortion, from legalized marijuana to racism, the culture we live in is filled with “hot potato” issues. Issues that are hard to handle and seem like you can’t touch without getting into a mess of opinions, charged emotions, heated debate and relational tension. Everybody knows what it’s like when a political or moral subject is brought up around the family Thanksgiving table, and all the sudden you can cut the tension in the air with a knife. Unfortunately, it’s not just a family gathering phenomenon, “hot potato” issues come to the surface in just about every venue of life. And to be sure, it’s easy to get burned without ever even knowing what happened.

Unfortunately, Christians (and churches) have often unnecessarily  stirred the pot and poured gasoline on these charged issues instead of being a source of healing, understanding, and mutual respect.  Are there perfect ways to handle these issues and respond to these hot topics within our culture? No, not usually. But, there are better ways!

Here are a few suggestions for Christians and churches…

1) Cut the one-sided message game. – “Wow, that message on the church sign (or billboard) has totally changed my mind”  said no one ever.

These issues are too big and too personal for one sided statements blurted out into the public.  From sidewalk agenda-preaching of things that people are against to messages of the like held on signs, these one-sided methods, though probably well intentioned,  have greater propensity to do more harm than good.  Clever statements on signs, billboards, mailings etc. rarely influence people onto your thinking, but polarize the issues and the people involved. Those who think like you smile inside and join your cause, those that don’t, don’t and won’t. Besides, most people read into what is read or said through their own experiences and beliefs and interpret them differently. The chances of being misunderstood and communicating an unintended message greatly increase through these methods. These highly charged issues are too important, complex, personal and volatile to simply blurt out a one sided, over simplified message about, even as crafty, well intentioned, and clever as they might seem to be.

2) Don’t hide behind Facebook (or any other social media). – Man, if they hadn’t made that status statement of their views against _________, I would still be so ignorant and misguided.” said no one ever.

Facebook, Twitter etc. can be a place to begin a meaningful conversation about tough issues, but rarely do people use it in that way. Rather, they vomit out their thoughts and beliefs about certain hot topics in a 50 character status update and then hide behind the distance and safe-zone that social media platforms afford. If you want to ride your soapbox regarding heated issues without having real, meaningful conversations that actually go somewhere, keep blasting your trumpet through your status update and taking it down once someone comments with an opposing view. If you are out to feel better about yourself and get a rush from the praise of your like-minded choir, than Facebook  etc. is your “hot potato” place. If changed lives, mutual respect, and real dialogue are what you seek, social media may be a place to begin, but it’s never the place to stay or end. Make sure you are open to conversation, dialogue, opposing views, and kindly giving mutual respect before you use social media in addressing tough social issues.

3) Get face to face-  The fact that no one has ever taken the time to talk with me (not just to me) has truly been the difference that has changed my whole way of thinking.” said no one ever.

To0 many churches hide in their buildings and programs, and too many Christians hide behind their social media. It’s amazing how a conversation can change when two (or more) people meet physically, face to face.  Or at least, voice to voice. 70% of communication is non-verbal, so imagine all that’s missing when we don’t take the time to be with people, in the flesh. These issues are far too important than to settle for anything less than face to face, voice to voice conversations. Are face to face conversations always possible? No. But chances are you can find a better way than texting, tweets, Facebook, and Pinterest to dive into these sensitive, toxic issues.

4) Start with listening, begin and end with Grace-  

“When I realized they weren’t listening to me and couldn’t wait to tell me what I should think, feel, and do, it made their Bible bashing statements of fear, guilt, and shame all the more powerful to turn my stupid thinking and sin-living life around. Deep down I knew all I needed was a healthy dose of condemnation and a few “to do” programs and messages to get me on the right path” said no one ever.

Influence is gained through listening, a change of mind is gained through Grace.  Grace is not a reduction of nor a retreat from truth. Rather it is the truth seen through and dealt with through Grace. Everyone has a story that if you don’t learn about and understand, you forfeit your ability to minister the Gospel into their lives.  Every person is different, and the Gospel is personal to every person’s life. You can’t communicate the Gospel personally without knowing the person. Most people have never had a person truly hear their pain. Most Christians and Churches don’t begin with listening, but begin with admonishing, correcting, and quoting. And then we wonder why our message rarely gains any traction within our broken, hurting culture. Furthermore, when we speak, we tend to lead with the Law. “You need to do this, change that, stop this, start that, join this, sign up for that”  As well intentioned as our programs and prescriptions might be, they actually end up further imprisoning rather than setting free. Why? Because they lean towards the Law, and not on the pure Gospel of God’s Grace. The Law never changed anyone, the Gospel can change everyone. No one has ever become Holy through punishment, nor proclamations of condemnation, rules, and areas where one does not measure up or is getting it wrong. Christians and Churches have become impotent and irrelevant in our culture today because no matter our worship styles, logos, and campaigns, the Law in any shape or form is irrelevant and impotent to change lives. And don’t be fooled, great numbers of baptisms, church memberships and the like may be nothing more than a sign that we have successfully inspired people to perform a religious ritual to begin their journey into becoming a performance driven Christian in our life enhancement club. The only thing that is relevant and potent to change minds and hearts is the Gospel of God’s Grace.  Start with listening, begin and end with Grace. People who get true Grace, don’t sin more, they sin less. You can never have too much nor give too much Gospel Grace. More Grace, more thankfulness. More Grace, more repentance. More Grace, more faithfulness. More Grace, more obedience. It is the Grace of God that teaches us to live rightly. It is the Grace of God that enables people to reign in life, not rules, spiritual gymnastics, church traditions, guilt trips, fear tactics, punishment, Bible bashing, clever programs, stage lighting, skinny jeans, and hip sermon series.

Let’s open our ears and trust the Gospel of Grace.  Let’s be less clever and more caring. Less shock and awe, more respect and carefulness. Let’s be more accessible and less one-sided in our communication as we all seek to be Jesus in a “hot potato” world.

What would you add to this list?  Looking forward to your thoughts!

 

© 2017 Chris Kratzer

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