Tag: betrayal

Sorry, Christian Trump Supporter, I Just Can’t Trust You Anymore

It used to be different.

I may not have always agreed with you, but I respected you and your views. It seemed as if being a person of truth and goodness was a value we mutually upheld.

Sure, we haven’t always seen eye to eye, but I never thought it would come to this.

Everything has changed.

So much, that as difficult as it is to say and an even more difficult reality to swallow, if I’m honest, I just can’t trust you anymore. I wish things were different, but they’re not.

Somehow, someway, you still support Trump.

From where I sit, the person you once were is no longer the person you have become.

It baffles me to my core.

Even after he publicly mocks the disabled, brags about “grabbing pussy,” swindles people for cash, labels brown-skinned people as criminals, bullies his perceived enemies, embraces racism and white supremacy, pays off porn stars, lies incessantly, and pimps conspiracy theories, you still give him your “amen” and “hallelujah.”

How can this be?

Are you really that blind and callous?

For Christ’s sake, you won’t even wear a damn mask to protect the life of your neighbor. Your church won’t practice social distancing for the thwarting of a deadly pandemic. And, worse yet, you actually believe Trump was sent by God with anointing.

You actually teach your children to admire him.

You donate your money and your heart to his narcissism.

You give headspace to his lies and ridiculous conspiracy theories.

You give him a pass on everything you have fiercely denounced in others.

You twist the Bible like a breakdancer on crack and rape the person of Jesus in order to rationalize your addiction to power and preferential treatment within society.

Hell, you can’t even see your own white privilege staring you straight in the face.

Trust me, it’s a hard thing to say and even a harder thing to behold, but you’ve come off the rails of having a capacity for discernment and self-control. Your moral compass is calibrated to the black hole of your selfishness, and your soul worships a golden calf glittered with white, conservative Christian supremacy. In the end, there is nearly nothing evangelical, Christian, loving, or Jesus-esque about you. Like the Wizard behind the curtain, the sheep’s clothing that garments your veneer has been torn wide open to reveal the wolf that has long lurked inside you.

I still can’t believe it.

If you can’t see Trump for who he is, your faith for the evil it embraces, and yourself for the person you have become, how am I supposed to see you in my life?

If you lack the courage and clarity to stand for what is right and stand against what is wrong, where should you stand in my life?

I’m sorry, Christian Trump supporter, I just can’t trust you anymore.

The writing is on the wall.

 

I can’t trust you with educating my children.

I can’t trust you with speaking into my spiritual life.

I can’t trust what you say about God.

 

I can’t trust you with advising my values and choices.

I can’t trust you to discern good from bad.

I can’t trust you to steer away from fact-denying.

I can’t even trust you to have my best interests at heart.

 

I can’t trust you to tell the truth.

I can’t trust you to discern evil.

I can’t trust you to be fair.

I can’t even trust you to denounce murder and violence.

 

I can’t trust you with my friends.

I can’t trust you with my family.

I can’t trust you with my safety.

I can’t even trust you with the little things.

Little things like holding my mail, serving me food, and walking my dog.

 

Yes, it’s that serious, Yes, it’s that real. Yes, it’s that specific.

Your allegiance to his ridiculousness is the betrayal of our relationship.

So, until you can vehemently reject Trump’s brutal policies of family separations and kids in cages, you can stop lecturing me about being pro-life.

Until you can mandate the removal of police brutality, economic and racial injustice, and educational segregation, you can put down your microphone, “all lives matter.”

Until you are willing to tear down walls of discrimination, racism, and the unwelcoming of refugees, foreigners, and immigrants, you can keep your Old Testament quotations to yourself.

Until you turn the focus towards repenting of your own sins and the sins of your conservative Evangelical faith, you can forget about making me into your spiritual project and Chia Pet-for-Jesus as you hope to grow me into your hypocritical system of believing.

Until you cease to pursue the nationalism of your faith and a false religious freedom that is bent towards your benefit, can you stop trying to convince me that you worship Jesus and not Caesar.

Until you learn to lean not on your own understanding, put people first, and embrace the divinity and affirmation of all, you can stop insisting you occupy the inside scoop on God, the Bible, and how everyone else should be living.

Until you publicly reject the white, sexist, Republican, gun-wielding Jesus of conservative Evangelicalism, you can throw in the towel of your futile attempts to convince me that you worship the Jesus of Nazareth.

Until your faith becomes about the least-of-these instead of the privileged-of-these, the least-of-these instead of the whitest-of-these, the least-of-these instead of the sexist-of-these, and the least-of-these instead of the self-righteous-of-these, you can take everything about your faith, everything about your beliefs, and everything about who you have become and dance it all in front of me, but the scales have fallen from eyes and the truth has set me free.

Your loyalty to Trump has shown me everything I need to know about you, your faith, and the god you serve.

You can’t be trusted.

So, let me save you some time and disheartenment.

I will not believe the beliefs you believe.

I will not worship the idols to which you bow.

I will not become the evil you have become.

And most of all, I will not open my eyes, my heart, nor my life to any person or entity like you whose faith is so dedicated and committed to seeking its own way, that it is even willing to discriminate, demonize, and destroy all that is true, good, factual, and humane.

Sorry, Christian Trump Supporter, I just can’t trust you anymore.

And, to be honest, it scares me that I ever did.

 

Grace is brave. Be brave.

Check out Chris Kratzer’s new book getting rave reviews… Leatherbound Terrorism.

In Leatherbound Terrorism, Chris chases the evils of conservative Evangelicalism out of the shadows and gives powerful voice to the cries of the religiously oppressed. Confronting issues like racism, sexism, homophobia, religious greed, hypocrisy, nationalism, white supremacy, privilege, and the weaponizing of the Bible, Leatherbound Terrorism pulls no punches. Endorsed by best selling authors Steve McVey and Baxter Kruger, Leatherbound Terrorism will challenge you, inspire you, and most certainly cause you to rethink your faith and life.

When You are Burned

I recently heard a conversation where a person was speaking about their fear in trusting a new friendship because of having been burned in a past friendship.  This is a conversation that most of us can certainly understand and may have even had ourselves.

People have burned us, and we have likely burned some people ourselves, at the least, without knowing or intending to do so.

So, what do you do when you get burned? Everyone get’s burned, but not everyone handles it well.

Here are some tips…

1) Focus on Managing Yourself and Who You Become

When people burn us our emotions are injected with adrenaline and we usually have an impulse to react in some fashion or another. The greatest temptation that comes from being burned is to loose your sense of identity as a complete, whole, loved, and valuable person. Being burned has a way of surfacing our insecurities and fears hoping that we will conclude, “Something is wrong or lacking with me.” That’s why the most important thing when you are burned isn’t in what you do, it’s in managing who you are and who you become.  It is out of your sense of self that every other emotion and action flows.

The most important thing when in the midst of a relational conflict is in how you manage yourself… emotions, identity, and actions. Who we are in the face of being burned will determine who you become and maybe even what becomes of the situation.  Spend less time thinking about how to react, what to say, and what to do next, and much more time on centering yourself on your faith in who you are in Christ, your righteousness, wholeness, and position in Him.  If you will focus on your faith in who you are in Christ, your emotions and actions will take care of themselves.

Like the burning bush in the story of Moses, in Christ, we can become people who, though burned by others and circumstances, we are not consumed by others or circumstances.  Managing who you are in the midst of being burned will ensure that no person or thing can steal your joy, peace, identity, and integrity. No person or thing is worth that.

Learn what you need to learn about mistakes that you may or may not have made, but don’t base your identity on them or your worthiness of having peace and joy in your life.

2) Move On, not Backward

When people burn us, the situation will likely need to be addressed in some fashion or another.  Keeping your peace, joy, identity, and integrity will ensure you handle things well. Yet, at some point, there will be a time to move forward.  Bitterness, anger, jealousy, frustration, and alike will need to reach their expiration date.

When people burn us, the second temptation (loosing you sense of self being the first) is to lose your willingness to trust in people and/or a better future. Forgiveness does not mean restoration, so automatically re-trusting the person or circumstance that burned you is not something God is pushing you to do. In fact, that could be a significant move backwards, not forwards. Yet, creating huge barriers around your heart and life that no person or circumstance can penetrate is not moving forward either.

Perhaps what is needed to avoid being burned again is to move slower, listen more to your discernment, set better boundaries, or not let your insecurities get the best of you and cause you to rush into things too soon.  Perhaps you would benefit from some Christian counseling to help you navigate things better in the future and identify current blindspots and patterns.  Not learning from whatever happened would be a huge step backwards. Yet, not having hope in the future and a desire to position yourself to trust and believe again is not moving forward either.

Don’t let people or circumstances steal your desire to love and live.  God has promises over your life that you need to live out. Be who you are and live the life you are meant to live. Never let being burned by others consume your passion and potential. Shake off your shoes, learn, and move forward.

God isn’t going to use the people who burned you in the past to water your future. If they aren’t with you, then certainly don’t try to drag them along and keep them in your life. Emotionally release them from your being and move forward.

3) Find Relational Rest 

Faith is the foundation of relationships. And by faith, I mean your faith in Christ and His work in your life. Believing in who you are in Christ is the key to relational rest.  When you have relational rest, you aren’t running around trying to attract people and opportunities into your life.  Rather, you are trusting God and resting assured that the people and opportunities that need to be in your life, God will bring into your life. You don’t need a person or opportunity to prop you up or complete you, you are already complete and standing tall in who you are in Christ.  You see yourself as one who reigns in life, not one who requires relationships to feed and sustain them.

Relational rest allows you to be who you are in Christ without fear.  Insecurities are pushed aside and Christ-security is moved center stage.  You can truly love without losing yourself and sucking the life out of others. Love becomes much more about giving to another and much less about getting something for you. When people or circumstances burn you, God’s grace for your life, His identity in you, and the promises He has over your life quickly dampen the hurt, frustration, bitterness, and injury. Indeed, you can truly rest in your relationships knowing who you are, who God is, and His promise over your life are firmly and eternally established.  You may get a bit stirred, but you are never shaken.

The more you place your faith in who you are in Christ, His Grace, and promise over your life, people and opportunity will come running to you.  You attract in others and in life what you believe about yourself.  People will be attracted to the Christ in you when you believe in the Christ in you. They will come looking for grace, when you believe in His Grace.  Believe in the best of Christ in you to attract the best of others to you.

It’s hard to rest when you have been sunburned, it’s harder to relationally rest when you have been people burned. Turn to Christ, and who you are in Him and you will find rest. Trust me, it works. Better yet, trust Him and His work in you!

Taking the Bite out of Betrayal

Betrayal bites. Of all the plots Satan can work into a relationship, betrayal is the worst. At the heart of betrayal is broken trust. Whether it be in the form of an affair, lies, gossip, backstabbing, or walking away from a relationship, betrayal in essence involves the breaking of trust.  You trusted the person to be, do, or carry out something and they did not. Most of the time, betrayal has a deliberate essence to it. Sometimes it is even premeditated.

Unfortunately, trust is not as highly valued as it should be. People make all kinds of promises that they can’t or refuse to keep. They do what they want to do, when they want to do it, and how they want to do it with very little if any concern for its relational effect. Then, they expect this flippant attitude and behavior to be rewarded with trust.  We are truly a disposable, consumer minded society that has placed a high value on convenience to the point where even relationships, commitment, and trust are scene as expendable. Like a membership at a YMCA, we seem to value relationships as far as they serve our needs and a better opportunity doesn’t present itself. Once a relationship stops serving our needs, all bets are off. Not a pleasant reality, but sadly a true one.

Yet, trust takes much time and relational travel to establish, but people expect it to happen over night. Trust should be treasured and built patiently over time.  It’s not instant, nor is it disposable.  Furthermore, it is the product of a relationship going through ups and down together and passing the tests of trust.

With a growing disregard for authority, friendships, integrity, and trust, betrayal has become common place and basically expected. What God hates, Satan has made predictable… betrayal.

So, what is a person to do with this issue of betrayal? Unfortunately it can’t be completely prevented, but here is some wisdom that can guide you in taking the bite out of betrayal.

o.o1 Acknowledge the Hurt – Trying to play the tough guy (or girl) through betrayal is not healthy. Betrayal is gut-wrenching. Make sure you don’t try to bury the anger you have.  Take time to express your hurt to God and perhaps a close friend with whom you can trust. The more you stow it, the more is festers and grows.

o.o2 Retrace the Steps – Typically, betrayal doesn’t happen overnight. Furthermore, what may feel like betrayal could have a very legitimate explanation. To be sure, it will be difficult at best to put together the puzzle of events that led to the betrayal, but doing your best to understand what led to it will help you process it and move forward with appropriate emotions and actions.

o.o3 Learn to Exit Well – Betrayal sometimes occurs when people don’t know how to leave or deal with a situation or relationship. Instead of handling it with clear, direct communication, they hide in the shadows only to make their choices known through others or with no explanation at all. In some circumstances, people will find excuses to exit stage left and use blame to legitimize the guilt they feel in leaving your side. In other circumstances, they will make decisions that force your hand in confronting them and setting boundaries so that they don’t have to take responsibility for the decline or dissolving of the relationship. In essence, they make you say “no” so they don’t have to. This is of course very hurtful, but also serves as a good lesson on how not to do the same to another.

I imagine that Judas discovered early on that there became a point where he no longer supported the cause and/or claims of Christ. But rather then handle that with direct and clear communication, he betrayed Jesus. Add into the mix some greed, bitterness, and temptation and you can begin to retrace the steps of Judas’ exit stage left from the side of Jesus.

o.o4 Reenter with Caution – Betrayal doesn’t always mean the end.  For example, I have seen many couples overcome the worst of affairs and rebuild their marriage stronger than ever.  However, anytime there has been a betrayal, giving back trust and moving towards reconciliation should be done with care and caution. Forgiveness only takes one person, trust and restoration always takes two. Developing discernment and having a healthy relational radar system can go a long way at preventing betrayal.

o.o5 Let God get Justice- When we are betrayed it’s easy to desire revenge. Even when we are at no fault and justified in our anger, revenge is not a good thing.  When it comes to betrayal, trying to even the score will always end up in losing the game.  Does this mean you should not confront the person or seek measures of appropriate discipline or boundaries? No. But it does mean that any actions taken should not be authored from a spirit of revenge.  Aside from any appropriate confrontation or discipline, let God take care of the issues of justice and revenge. He can handle it, we can’t.

0.o6 Don’t Give Up on Trust- There are a lot of good, trustable people out there with whom you can have a betrayal free relationship. Take time to develop trust. Trust can’t be rushed. People who won’t take the time and do the work to build trust probably won’t value it nor protect it once you give it.  There is a difference between being careful and being distrusting. Be careful, but don’t assume that people aren’t trustable.

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