The One Thing Every Parent of a Gay Child Must Know

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There is something so uniquely beautiful, spiritual, sacred, and honorable about parenting a gay child.

This, you must know.

Yet, there is also something very heart stirring. This, you surely, already know.

Every range of emotion called to the nerve receptors of the soul. Like the sailing of a small boat atop the depths of the oceans, every wave, gust, blazing heat, chilling rain, all intimately, symbiotically felt in raw detail together, move by move. Wandering through a fog, alone in the silence of night, holding tight through a storm. You never stop hearing or feeling the heartbeat of your children. Irreversibly connected.

A connection birthed from the intimacy infused into all humanity; from the Father to the Son, through the Spirit, into you… entirely. That Jesus lived, died, and is resurrected, His declaration to the world that an At-one-ment has forever occurred. In the doing of His death and resurrected life, He did so not just for humanity but as humanity. God has immersed Himself indistinguishably within you, that you are the presence and the essence of Christ in this world. As He is, so are we.

Yet, this manifestation of Jesus in and as humanity, through your gay child, is a uniquely clear, profound, and powerful force. In them, as them, and through them, their Christ-essence is a special kind of exposure of Jesus to the world. An enlightening of the Light. An unveiling different than any other. This, you must know.

To say that you have been chosen by God to parent Jesus, that you are a modern day Mary and/or Joseph is true, but falls far short of your gay child’s unique significance on this planet and their cosmic revelation of Jesus. For they carry within them and as them, a specialized projection of the pure Gospel. A revelation of Jesus so uniquely radiant that it penetrates, perhaps like no other, through the fortified layers of self-righteousness walled around our religious culture, exposing its adulterous bedding of ignorance, pride, and a religious spirit. A divine x-ray of the Christian world displayed on the light-board of the outcast of the outcasts, revealing its true cancer for all to see… that many worship Him with their lips but their hearts are far, far, far. A Gospel-manifesting so loud, that its trumpet demands a re-hearing and a re-understanding of sacred stances thought to be sure and forever fitting, overturning tables of Evangelical advantage, sending scores of church-world participants into the shadows, murmuring, plotting, and justifying, all while knelt down under the lame protection of their pews.

The Gospel is here, afresh… in your gay child.

So pure, so offensive this Gospel. That to accept Jesus must be to accept all humanity, because He became us… not some… but all of us. And transversely, all have been included in Him, we are His image bearer and life carrier… as is. For whatever you do for the least of these you do it to Him, because He is us, and we are Him.

Your gay child is the Gospel, the Gospel that none are better, only different. All signed, sealed, and delivered. Image-created. The world’s wrestling with your homosexual child is the world wrestling with Jesus. There is nothing wrong with your gay child anymore than there is something wrong with the true, pure Gospel. For they thought in Jesus was a crazed, evil spirit, only to discover He is Love made flesh; the Good News, humanely presented in humanity’s form. For what some think is a stronghold, a physiological abnormality, a psychological deviance, sin, or some bondage in your gay child, is just Jesus made flesh once again. This time, anew. For such a time as this.

And this, you must know.

There are Herods that are licking their chops with an appetite for killing; religious powers, authorities, and alike. You will be persecuted, betrayed, flogged, crucified. But not as one who carries a cross, but one who parents the Gospel.

For as the Light came into the world, and His own received Him not. So too, it is and will be with many a believer and your gay child. Your journey may feel at times like a special kind of hell, but your child is a special kind of heaven.

Perhaps the most difficult thing for you will come in the echoing of your child’s current or future voice, “forgive them, for they know not what they do.” It’s one thing for Jesus to declare, it will be a whole other thing for you, mom or dad, to say the same. His Grace is sufficient.

Do you know who your gay child is?

They are, the One… uniquely, purposefully.

This, One-thing, you must know.

12 Comments

  1. That to accept Jesus must be to accept all humanity, because He became us… not some… but all of us. And transversely, all have been included in Him, we are His image bearer and life carrier… as is. For whatever you do for the least of these you do it to Him, because He is us, and we are Him.
    This seems so simple. As my friend Sara says, “No one has searched the heart of God, the scriptures or their very soul more than the Christian parent of a gay child. No one.” We all see the face of God in our children, gay or straight. There is not difference. Thank you so much for getting this.

  2. “This you must know”……yes, we know it, we felt it for a very long time, but didn’t know exactly what to name it or how to describe it….and you have described it perfectly. Thank you.

  3. “There is something so uniquely beautiful, spiritual, sacred, and honorable about parenting a gay child.”

    SO TRUE!!!!

    Thank you!

  4. Loved this post Very much Chris thank you for it ment a ton to me 😀 love you brother

  5. “Your journey may feel at times like a special kind of hell, but your child is a special kind of heaven.” So true…As the mom of a gay son who is beautiful and perfect just the way he is, thank you for your words.

  6. Your words speak very loudly to me and my family, thank you!

    • ckratzer

      October 8, 2015 at 10:55 am

      Thanks Lindsau, so encouraged by your comment. Let’s stay connected, would love to hear more of your story. Please find me on fb or email.

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