I’m so exhausted.
There are no other words.
There’s no way around it, and I refuse to hide as if it’s shameful or indicative of some kind of deviance or weakness.
So much hate everywhere. There is almost nowhere where it is not. Every crack, seam, crevice, platform, and instance. No more gowns and hoods. No more gloves or inside handshakes. No more concealment, embarrassment, brake pumping, or situational empathy. All out in the open, proudly parading in the light of day, longing for open spaces and closed minds. Zero to sixty at the drop of a hat. The curtain has been pulled back. The scab has been picked. The cancer has metastasized. The cover has been opened of the American sewer. Unrestrained, unchecked, and unabated hate of every kind, spewing everywhere.
Sensory overload, news overload, trauma overload, opinion overload. “Do this, don’t do that” overload. Billboards, screens, “breaking news,” and algorithms raping our minds for every moment of our attention.
The rich get richer, the poor get poorer.
The oppressors keep winning, the oppressed keep suffering. Heartbreak and heavy lifting.
We’re all getting screwed. Everyone of us.
Only the few that hold all the cards are immune, drifting in yachts built by slavery ships and wooden canoes.
System after system designed to keep us dependent, compliant, and functioning just enough to serve their seven-deadly-sinning. Rats in a rat race designed by wolves. We are but cogs in the clock of those who rule our time.
The more we awake, the more they seduce our sleep. Distraction after distraction, dragging us around like dogs on a leash and spinning truth like a breakdancer on crack.
Lies are approved.
Violence is budgeted.
Oppression is focused-grouped.
Power and privilege are hoisted, legislated, and canonized as Scripture.
I’m tired of face-slap debates, knees on necks, and people-erasing.
I’m tired of trucks with confederate flags flying and spiritualized patriarchy.
I’m tired of Monday morning quarterbacking, Bible masturbating, and Transgender suicide legislating.
I’m tired of “don’t say gay,” don’t see slavery, don’t learn history, don’t trust science, don’t question systems, don’t report abuse, don’t deny men, don’t read books, don’t resist injustice, don’t free think, and don’t believe the truth that you are truly seeing.
Everywhere we turn. Every breath we breathe. It’s inescapable.
I’m so exhausted.
You’re exhausted. We’re exhausted.
It’s where we are, it’s who we are.
It’s our teary-eyed, tired-eyed communal lament.
It’s the closing of the blinds. The curling up into the fetal position.
So, I’m listening to jazz again, returning my soul to a simpler time.
Taking in stories of enduring value, goodness, and humankind.
I’m turning off the news, the screens, and the voices wasting my time.
I’m protecting the streams stirring within me, welling up within me, and opening the door only when it’s time.
I’m resting more. Being careful more. Listening to me, more.
To the blips on my own radar screen.
To my own pulse, presence, and people.
So, let’s rekindle, recalibrate, and renew together, that we might reconnect and resist all the more.
Cause I’m so exhausted, and I’m guessing you are too.
Grace is brave. Be brave.
Check out Chris’ latest book, Stupid Shit Heard In Church available on Amazon (link below)…
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